We’ve all been there. You’re hoping for a committed relationship with someone, but it can never quite become something long term. Situationships are in that limbo between casual dating and a forever relationship. It feels so official, but you’re missing that last step to get it there. Unfortunately, hope can really blind you to what’s actually happening. Here’s how you tell if it’s a situationship, and not a forever one.
1. You can’t seem to get comfortable.
You’re on edge. You’re wondering if this relationship is going anywhere. If this was your forever relationship, you’d feel a lot more comfortable just going with the flow.
2. Any time conversation inches toward something serious, they change the topic.
You’ve been wondering if this is going anywhere, so you’ve tried to delicately float the idea. But if the conversation ever gets serious, they pull away, they change the subject, they say you should talk about it later. Later never comes and you’re always left wondering.
3. They won’t make any long-term plans with you.
It could be something as innocuous as a concert from a band you know they love. It’s months away and all you need to do is order tickets. But when you talk about going together, they get squirrelly and never say yes to buying the tickets. They’re not seeing a future with you, babe.
4. Or they’ll talk about the future, but won’t cement the plans.
Some people just love to fantasize about future fun, but that doesn’t mean they’ll actually make those plans. If your situationship talks about cool things to do, but never does anything to make them happen–and discourages you from doing the same–this isn’t your forever person.
5. They call you their “friend.”
If you’ve been introduced to anyone in their life (and that’s a big if), they have found all sorts of creative ways not to call you their partner or girlfriend/boyfriend. Instead, if anything at all, they call you their “friend.” And boy, does that hurt.
6. They refuse to define the relationship.
You’ve straight up asked what you are, what you could become, and all you get is stalling. They don’t want to even have the conversation. And if you get anything out of them, it’s usually something like, “I like things the way they are. Why do we have to ruin it by defining things?”
7. You know deep down that you’re fighting for something that doesn’t exist.
In your heart, you already know the answer. It’s time to listen to your intuition.