7 Questions To Ask Yourself When You Aren’t Sure Whether To Stay Or Break Up

It’s tough to decide whether you should end a relationship or give your person another chance because you don’t want to make the wrong decision. But you’re going to figure it out. To help, here are the questions you should ask yourself when you aren’t sure whether you should stay or break up:

Do your visions for the future align?

Unfortunately, the love you have for each other isn’t enough. You need to have similar visions for your future. If you disagree on where you want to live, whether you want to get married, and whether you want children, then you might need to part ways. You don’t want to sacrifice your dreams for them, and you don’t want to ask them to do that for you. It’s a recipe for resentment.

Are you having the same fights over and over again, or are you actually solving problems when they arise?

Every couple is going to have arguments. What matters is how you handle those arguments. If you’re sitting down to have mature discussions and are actively listening to your partner’s point of view so you can grow as a couple, you’re on the right path. But if you feel like your problems never get solved, like you keep having the same fights again and again, then you’re stuck. And there’s no guarantee things will ever change.

Do you treat each other with respect, even when your emotions are high?

It doesn’t matter whether you’re drunk or simmering with anger. There’s never a good excuse for name-calling or frightening your partner. You should be treating each other with respect consistently, no matter your mood.

Are you able to forgive each other for past mistakes or are you holding onto grudges?

Everyone makes mistakes, but whether or not you can forgive those mistakes is the key. If you can move on from the past, then you’ll grow as a couple. But if one of you has crossed an unforgivable boundary that you’re never going to get over as long as you’re together, then you’re better off parting ways. You don’t want the past ruining your future. You don’t want to stay with a partner you can’t trust.

Are you both contributing to the relationship and putting in equal effort, or is only one person doing the work?

Both partners need to be on the same page in order for the relationship to work. You can’t save it by yourself. You can’t do the work of two people. If your partner isn’t willing to put in the effort, then there’s nothing you can do on your own.

Do you feel comfortable being yourself around them or are you putting on an act to impress them?

You should trust that your person likes you for you. You should be able to let your guard down around them and be the most authentic version of yourself. If you feel judged by them, you don’t belong with them.

Do you genuinely want to be with them or do you simply feel like you’re obligated to stay?

You are allowed to leave. You don’t owe this person your time or your attention, just because you have history. If you want to break up, then don’t let the guilt stop you. Do what will make you happiest in the end.