Jeremy Perkins

8 Dating Red Flags That Should Be Avoided At All Costs, According To A Therapist

Have you ever noticed that, when you get comfortable in a relationship, you start to forgive all sorts of shitty behavior that you wouldn’t have when you first started dating? By now, you’ve committed yourself to this person and aren’t sure if these red flags are deal breakers. Leave it to this TikTok therapist, @therapyjeff, to list the relationship red flags that he absolutely can’t stand. If your partner does any of things, it might be time to rethink the relationship.

This isn’t just any list of red flags. Above, TherapyJeff lists the relationship red flags that he can’t stand, from the perspective of a therapist. He’s got the inside track on the flags that get ignored far too often. Here’s his list:

1. Believing that labeling a relationship is dumb.

These are the guys who describe their girlfriend of three years as the girl they’re “hanging out with.” These are the commitment-phobes that will never give you 100% of themselves. You’ll always be willing to give more than they are, and that doesn’t make for a healthy relationship.

2. Only being able to empathize by telling a story about how they went through the same thing.

We’re not talking about the natural progression of a conversation, here. TherapyJeff means the people who have to one-up everything you say. When you’re talking to them about yourself, you can almost see the cogs turning through their glazed-over eye contact. They’re just waiting for you to finish so they can talk about themselves.

3. Saying “I promise I’m the least racist person you’ll ever meet.”

A true anti-racist wouldn’t say something like that. This sentence is always used right before or after they say something racist as hell. Honorable mention goes to “least sexist.”

4. The only books they’ve read are audiobooks by male comedians.

Same goes for guys who listen to those incredibly sexist podcasts. Avoid these dudes at all costs.

5. Calling you a stupid pet name.

Jeff hates: Poopsie, Shmoopy, Tubba-Wubba, Love Bug, Sweet Cheeks, Freud Boy, Duckie, Sugar Lips, Paycheck, Mommy, or Daddy. I whole-heartedly agree.

6. They claim that every single one of their exes are crazy.

That means they either are masters at belittling women’s feelings, or they are great at making their partners crazy. They take no responsibility. You can be sure that they’ll say the same thing about you after you break up, regardless of how actually crazy you were.

7. There are no obvious visible red flags, but your gut is still telling you something is wrong.

Start trusting your intuition. If you feel something is wrong, there probably is. And you shouldn’t want to be in a relationship that makes you feel this way, regardless.

8. They claim they’re always the smartest person in the room.

All this illustrates is how truly insecure this person actually is. And their deep insecurity manifests in a way that has to tear down everyone around them. That includes you. Yeah, that’s not hot at all.