14 Divorced Couples On What They Wish They Asked Their Partner Before Getting Serious

“What do you expect to change once we are married? For me, the answer was not much. We already lived together and had a kid together. For her… Lots of things that she apparently thought were obvious but did not communicate.” — BarzTheOrange

“Do your parents have a retirement plan? My future plans did not include taking care of his parents due to their lack of future planning.” — erniezzz

“Are you getting married to please your parents, or because you really want to build a life with me? I’m convinced my ex got married because it was what her parents expected her to do with her life; enjoying things together, by ourselves, was something that she never wanted.” — owen983

“How often do you see yourself wanting sex? Turns out wife is asexual. Not divorced, but considering it. I don’t want to spend the next 30-50 years in a sexless relationship. Feels bad, man.” – aberrantwolf

“I would have asked her which parent she was most like (mother or father). Next, I would have made sure I got to know that parent well, because she was very much like her father, a very controlling and often angry individual.” — logansrun2000

“Are you looking for a wife, or a mother? Let me tell you, feeling more like a caretaker than a partner is demoralizing. In a much better place now.” — TheEggplantRunner

“Are you ever going to stand up to your family to defend me? I am newly divorced. This huge red flag plagued me from the beginning. His entire family was abusive towards me in ways that sometimes are still too painful to even describe. Why I let them, why I stayed for so long are questions I will never have the answers to. “ — sugarcookieprincess

“What are your true motivations for marrying me or, do you have any reservations/concerns? Considering she had to put on reddit that apparently she did, then ended up having motivations long term.” — throwaway_wubbles

“Has anyone ever told you ‘no’ before? Because had I known this, I wouldn’t have spent so much time trying to deal and compromise.” — twilightsentinel

“I would have asked her if she was okay being married to the military. She needed to be okay with all the time away from home. The long hours, the late nights, being posted with other women at work, having friends of all races and gender, etc. Basically, my wife thought she was okay with being married and getting that sweet tri-care insurance, but she wasn’t okay with any other aspect of it. ” — Judoka229

“Do you know that childcare works both ways? Like, you’re a father, you need to be involved. You can’t just come home from work and berate me for not having a meal on the table.” — lastorderstime

“Are you SURE you’re not still in love with that guy from college?” — RabbiMoshie

“Will there be a point when you will contribute in any way to keeping our house? I.e. Shop for groceries, take kids to practice, use a vacuum, clean anything, etc.” — wsmcdowall

“Why do you really want to get married? Are you sure you love me enough to want to spend the rest of your life with only me?” — PhantomAngel042