How Every Zodiac Sign Would Respond To Dating Joe Goldberg

Aries

You’d fight with him…a lot.

Your hotheaded energy will be a lot for Joe’s hidden rage. There would probably be a lot of bickering and silly arguments, mostly started by you. They might even get extreme…

Taurus

You’d be intrigued by him.

Joe would entice you with the books he reads. You would be so enchanted by him being “deep” and “cultured” that you wouldn’t even see how fake and entitled he is.

Gemini

You’d do all the same things that he does—but better.

You would know how to beat him at his own game. He’s a stalker and a murderer? You are too, but you do it better.

Cancer

You’d try and manipulate him back.

You can be a bit passive-aggressive when you’re upset — which is often because you’re quite sensitive. So any time he goes ghost or does something to upset you, you’ll lash out with your own manipulative tactics.

Leo

You’d love all the attention he’s giving you.

You might not fully realize that he is stalking you — you just see it as someone who is giving you the attention you desire.

Virgo

You’d convince yourself that you could fix him.

You’d probably notice the red flags immediately and be deeply judgemental. You’d give him critiques and try and change him. Be honest with yourself: you can’t fix him.

Libra

You’d romanticize him so much that you wouldn’t even see the red flags.

Your people-pleasing tendencies will force you to keep the peace. Even if you potentially saw a red flag or two, you’d just ignore it. You’re a lover, not a fighter.

Scorpio

You’d understand him.

But that doesn’t mean it would be a healthy duo. Since Joe is supposedly a Scorpio, you’ll find that you two have a lot in common and understand each others’ needs in a relationship. This would be way too intense and full of jealousy, honestly.

Sagittarius

You two will butt heads a lot.

When Joe likes someone, he does things he thinks are in their best interest. You are not the kind of person who does things for others. He’ll feel neglected and you’ll feel smothered. You two will have a hard time seeing eye to eye.

Capricorn

You wouldn’t even be dating him.

You’re too busy working on yourself and maintaining your career that you don’t have time for love. You wouldn’t even put yourself in a position to date him. And honestly… good for you!

Aquarius

You wouldn’t trust him.

You’d go on one date with him, or you’d run into him casually once at a bookstore, and immediately get bad vibes. You’d do everything in your power to make sure you don’t stand out and attract attention to yourself, but let’s be honest, that’s hard for you.

Pisces

Die, probably.

At first, you’d feel very empathetic towards him and his childhood trauma and you’d let yourself get close to him. But then you’d start to put the pieces together and realize how bad he really is, and at that point, it’s too late. Your empathy is what gets you killed.