5 Concrete Signs You Don’t Want To Marry Them (You Just Want To Settle Down)
Sometimes, marriage isn’t the next step. Breaking up is. You don’t want to end up marrying someone for the wrong reasons, so make sure that your heart is in the right place. Make sure that you’re doing what is best for yourself, not what society is pressuring you to do. Here are some concrete signs you don’t want to marry the person you’re with specifically, and just want to rush to settle down:
You have been sweeping problems under the rug.
Instead of talking through your issues so you can come to compromises and work out your differences, you’ve been acting like everything is fine. You’re scared to bring up your complaints because you feel like they aren’t going to get solved — but if you admit this to yourself, you’ll know that you’re better off apart, that you don’t make any sense together.
You’ve only stayed together because of your history.
Most of your best memories are in the past. Most of the things that you love about them are in the past. Basically, you fell in love with them a long time ago, and have been staying together because of that feeling that they used to give you. You’re not in love with this version of them. The old you is in love with the old them, and since you’re comfortable now, you feel like you might as well get married if you’re going to stay together.
You’ve been feeling pressured by your parents, friends, and society as a whole.
When you see all of your friends walk down the aisle, it’s natural to want the same thing for yourself. Especially if your parents or other relatives are pressuring you to settle down. Marriage is what society deems ‘normal’ so it’s something you start thinking about as you grow older. However, you shouldn’t be tying the knot because it’s what everyone else wants from you, what everyone else expects from you. You need to be doing this because it feels right for you, not to make anyone else happy.
You’re absolutely terrified of being single again.
You’re not staying in this relationship because you’re happy. You’re staying because you feel like it’s better than being single again, better than going on random dates with strangers, better than feeling alone in the world. You would rather marry the wrong person than spend years searching for the right one. But you need to remember, you’ll be so much happier with someone who fits you better. Being single isn’t as bad as you think. It’s not as bad as committing yourself to a person you already know is wrong for you.
You are in love with the idea of love.
It’s easy to get swept away in the excitement of planning a wedding, but you don’t want to forget the real reason you’re getting married. It shouldn’t be to throw a fun party or dress up or gather your friends together. You can find plenty of other reasons to do those things if they’re your main goal. At the end of the day, marriage should be about committing to someone you want by your side for life. If you’re unsure about them, if you’re having doubts, there’s no harm in waiting to get married. Or not marrying them at all. Remember, if you have doubts, it’s better to confront them now than after your wedding day.