6 Concrete Signs You’re Toxic Together
Some relationships aren’t meant to work out. It’s not that you’re a bad person, and it’s not that your partner is a bad person, but when you get together, things crash and burn. Here are a few signs that you are toxic together and shouldn’t take the relationship any further:
Every argument turns into a screaming match.
Arguments are a normal part of relationships. You should be sharing your emotions with your partner, but it’s possible to do so in a calm, respectful manner. If neither one of you is capable of having a conversation without resorting to name calling and tossing around insults, then there’s a problem. You either need to work on your communication issues, or you need to find someone new.
You can never come to reasonable compromises.
You keep having the same fights over and over again because nothing ever really gets resolved. You might feel like things are better for a few days after you get your frustrations out in the open, but then you will fall right back to square one a little while later. You never learn and grow from mistakes you’ve made together. You feel like you’re stuck in a cycle where you argue about the same things over and over with no end in sight.
You make unfair demands of each other.
You can’t expect your partner to throw away their career and all their friendships in order to make you their entire world — and they can’t expect that from you either. In fact, your partner shouldn’t be making demands at all. They aren’t your boss. They don’t have any real power over you. Neither of you should feel like you’re being controlled by the other because you are both individuals. You make your own decisions. And if you aren’t a fan of each other’s decisions, then you’re better off apart.
You make each other feel worse.
Relationships aren’t always going to be sunshine and roses, but they shouldn’t be sheer misery either. Your partner shouldn’t make you feel self-conscious about your body or your laugh or your personality. They shouldn’t make you way more stressed than you were when you were single either. Overall, you should be brightening each other’s lives. If they only make you happy part of the time, and make you absolutely miserable the rest of the time, then you aren’t the best fit.
You actively hide secrets from each other.
In a healthy relationship, you should feel comfortable telling each other everything. If you’re purposely withholding information from them because you feel like it’s going to cause a fight, or because you feel like they’re going to judge you too harshly, then you probably aren’t the best match.
You have given up way too much for them.
Relationships require sacrifices here and there, but you shouldn’t completely abandon your dreams for them. You shouldn’t turn into an entirely different person in order to please them. You deserve someone you can be your real self alongside, someone who encourages your dreams, not squashes them.