Dating Tips For Girls Who Want To Make The First Move
“I regularly put myself out there. Most of the men who I have dated are men I approached. I may not be the best woman to ask because I simply don’t understand why other women are unwilling to just go for it. What’s stopping you? You don’t have to just walk up to him and ask him out. Start flirting. Flirt. Flirt hard. Touch his arm, give him a playful punch, throw in a line that sounds slightly sexually. This isn’t to get him to ask you out, but to gauge whether you should ask him out. If he’s into it, then I try to build a friendship, build those little inside jokes. Invest yourself and take your time. If I meet a guy I want to ask out, sometimes I plan my moves out over the course of a few weeks (getting laid/having relationships takes effort!). If I get enough signs that he’s into me, then I see no reason to wait for him to ask me out. So I just ask him! I don’t play games and neither should you – very openly, honestly, and genuinely tell him your intentions. Maybe it’s just to grab a cup of coffee. Maybe it’s a, ‘Hey, I love our chemistry and I really enjoy your company. Want to go back to my place and make out?’ Or it’s straight up asking if he wants to be your boyfriend. What’s the worst that could happen? I’ll tell you the worst that could happen. The worst thing that can happen is that he says no. We all get turned down sometimes. Hmm, no, that doesn’t work. That doesn’t work either…ADULT UP AND DEAL WITH IT!” — [deleted]
“I am a married woman now but at one point might have considered myself a first move kind of female. I’m a very flat chested, average looking female that doesn’t wear makeup BUT I’ve always had guys that were seriously interested in me. The trick is that there is no trick. Be yourself. Start small, make a joke about something or make fun of yourself or even him. Once you’ve exchanged small talk a few times, ask if he’d like to join you in something that is NOT a typical date – hiking, any sport or group activity, exploring an old building. Basically, make friends with him. That’s it.” — ChelloMello
“Guys really aren’t that scary. For some reason girls seem so afraid to approach them, but the worst that could happen is that he seems uninterested, so in the long run you’ve lost nothing and gained experience. It’s about going in with the attitude that you are a datable interesting person and you just have to show him that.” — MissFluff
“I give myself a little pep talk before and I’m like, ‘BITCH, get it together. If you wanna climb that boy like a tree you had best go talk to him.’ That usually works. I also find that it’s fun to be able to take the lead in a conversation. If I really want to go out and play golf with him I’m not going to wait for him to ask, I need to be able to do it. That way I get to do something I enjoy and still get to know him better.” — americsoul
“What has worked well for me is to spend a while talking to a guy and doing my best to flirt (note: also applies to flirty texting, OKCupid messages, etc.). After half an hour or so, most men are excited and hopeful, but afraid they’re reading your signals wrong. That means they’re hesitant to cross the line into talk that’s overtly about going on a date or hooking up. Ladies, that means it’s YOUR turn: make an overt statement that does cross that line. ‘My friends are going out to [local bar] on Saturday. Would you like to come with me?’ ‘Can I buy you a drink, sailor?’ ‘So, are you coming upstairs with me or what?’ At this point, most men are overwhelmed with relief that you’ve spelled it out and they can stop trying to guess. This also ups your chance that any given guy will say YES – it didn’t cost him anything in terms of risking rejection, so why the hell not give you a shot?” — AskMrScience
“Go talk to him. But for the love of puppies, take an intelligent topic with you… Something he has to answer to and that you can carry on talking about afterwards. Don’t just go there, say ‘hi’ and expect him to carry on from there.” — Voice-of-Discernment
“Remember, if they refuse to date you because they like the ‘chase’ or think you are too ‘easy’ because you asked them, then you don’t want them anyway.” — amneyer