Does He Love You, Or Is It Just Cuffing Season?

As the air gets chillier, you’re finding yourself leaning into the warmth of him. It’s his arms wrapped around you under the stars, your breath fogging the tiny space between you before you kiss. It’s leaning against his solid form as you cuddle up under a blanket while watching your favorite movies, mugs of hot cocoa warming your hands. This feels like love. Like something special. And it could be. Or it could be his preference for not being alone this winter that’s tethering him to you.

As it inches ever closer to the holidays, cuffing season starts in full force. Our world gets desolate, cold, and uninviting. It’s the loneliest time of year for many, and the only way to get through the absolute doldrums of a rotten winter is to attach yourself to someone. It’s called “cuffing season” because people will look for anyone they can attach themselves to to feel just a little bit less alone. Standards lower. Little foibles are let slide more than they would any other time of year.

Is he in love? Or has he chosen you because it’s cuffing season and he doesn’t want to be alone?

• If he gets quiet when you make plans past New Year’s, it could be cuffing season. He doesn’t want to break the news that he won’t be around when spring starts.
• If he’s asked you to meet his friends and family, especially when it isn’t for a holiday party, it could be love. That’s a serious step.
• If he’s ignoring your incompatibilities, like wanting kids or having different political beliefs, it could be cuffing season. Those things don’t matter if he doesn’t intend to stick around.
• If he talks about how well you match together, it could be love. He sees how well you fit into his life.

Ultimately, you won’t know until the world thaws and the spring blossoms start flowering. Even if he entered into your relationship as a way to get through the depressing holiday season without being alone, it could always morph into love as the months together tick by.

But there’s one element missing in the equation: You. Are you clinging to him because you don’t want to be alone? Because you don’t want to show up at Thanksgiving with just a pumpkin pie and no date to speak of? Because you don’t want to suffer through another lonely winter? Maybe it’s not love for you. You could be the one embracing cuffing season. You don’t want to be alone, so you fill the hole in your heart with anyone who’s nice and warm and close by.

Whether it’s cuffing season or love, you’re filling your days this winter with another warm body and someone to spend time with. In the end, you’ll both feel a little less alone.