Denys Nevozhai

I Don’t Want Kids, And That’s Okay

“When are you going to give me grandkids?” “You’ll understand when you have your own someday.” “Here, hold my kid! You better start practicing now before you have your own.”

I knew when I was young that I didn’t want kids. Even as a kid myself, I found other children off-putting. Why were they screaming all the time? Did they have to run around constantly? I was sometimes called an “old soul” for my level-headedness as a kid, being tantrum-free and respectful. In reality, that behavior just didn’t make sense to me.

When you begin your adult life knowing you’re going to have a completely childfree existence, you start to notice things. Womanhood is often inextricably linked to motherhood. It’s never “if” you’re going to have kids, but “when.” You also start noticing that the same can’t be said for men. Men aren’t hounded to breed like women are. Their worth as men isn’t tied to the little ones that have and raise. Must be nice.

That societal pressure to have children–from family, colleagues, and outsiders alike–means that so many people who didn’t want kids or were lukewarm about the idea had them anyway. I refuse to be in their numbers. Instead, I look to my childfree future and am excited.

I’m excited to do whatever I want, including deciding exactly when I go to bed and when I wake up. My day is entirely decided by me.

I’m excited to save so much money. Kids are expensive. The money that would go toward baby clothes and day care and college funds is now entirely for me. I can buy fun new gadgets, I can go on trips, I can do the responsible thing and put it in savings to wait for the perfect moment.

I’m excited to not control anyone’s life but my own. The amount of responsibility that comes with having and raising kids is staggering. It’s totally worth it for people who want it, but me? I only want to be responsible for one person, and that’s the one writing this post.

There are so many different ways to live your life, and being a mother is just one of them. Motherhood isn’t a requirement, and if you don’t want that kind of life, you don’t have to have it. Live your epic childfree life to the fullest. I know I will.