If You’ve Been Single For Years, That’s Your Dating Super Power
It’s so easy to look at your lack of relationships over the past few years and see it as an epic failing. You’ve been alone, surely that’s proof that you’re unlovable, right? That there’s something wrong with you? Truth is, there are some major benefits to being single for years. Once you start dating again, you’ve got a super power that will help you choose the right one.
If you’ve been single for years, you know you can survive on your own. You’ve done it before and you can do it again. That means that if ever someone tries to pressure you or tell you that without them you’d be nothing, loneliness won’t be a fear that puts you in bad situations. You know firsthand that being alone isn’t so terrible. It’s actually preferable to being with someone shitty.
If you’ve been single for years, you’ve already gotten over your past relationships. No rebounds for you. All your hang-ups have been figured out ages ago. You’re going into dating fresh and clean, which so many other people can’t say for themselves.
If you’ve been single for years, you have a concrete sense of self. You don’t define yourself by who you’re with. You know who you are. No one completes you but you. This also makes you less attractive to people who want to take advantage of those looking for their “puzzle pieces,” so that’s a win-win.
If you’ve been single for years, your personal growth is off the charts. You’ve had years to devote to your favorite person: You. You’ve gotten great at your hobbies, you’ve read a ton of books. And the idea of giving any of that up is just not appealing to you. Good. Now you can find someone who likes fully realized partners.
If you’ve been single for years, you know what you want once you date again. You’ve had a lot of time for self-reflection. Maybe you’ve even talked through this very thing in therapy. When people jump from one relationship to another without a break, they end up going for people who are all wrong for them. But not you!
If you’ve been single for years, you’re far more independent. The old saying “you don’t need no man,” certainly applies. Being alone for so long, you’ve got your finances figured out, you’ve developed an awesome home, you can open your own jars without anyone’s help. You can do anything on your own, and that’s awesome.
If you’ve been single for years, you’ll still hold on to your individuality and solitude once you’re finally in a relationship. Even if you’re feeling lonely and want to finally stop being single, you’re still better off once you end up in that epic relationship. You won’t give yourself over completely to another. You’ll hold on to what makes you special, and few can say the same.