Holding them back from a long-term relationship
Mariela Ferbo

In 2023, This Is What’s Holding Most People Back From A Serious Relationship

There are plenty of reasons why you might want to stay single. Here are a few of the most common reasons given by people from Ask Reddit who aren’t ready for a real relationship right now:

“There is a huge time commitment involved with starting out a relationship. You have to go out with that person at least once a week which would take up all my social battery time. I prefer to invest that time into my platonic friendships.” — KickSavings2234

“A lot of men are emotionally stunted/unavailable, looking for a replacement mommy, deeply insecure and immature, or my favorite – a mixture of all of it! I actually feel like I have learned so much and grown into such a strong, honest, and level headed woman but I struggle to find someone who can match that and value it.” — scrpiorising888

“I work a lot, so I don’t have much time to offer. Feels unfair and makes it harder to form connections.” — softcore_UFO

“Seems like all the people I find myself interested in are already married or in a relationship. That compounded with my lack of effort, I don’t use dating apps or seek out a relationship in my daily life.” — Aggressive-Pie-4829

“I need to learn to respect myself before I can respect someone I care about that much.” — Ph0nyM0ntana

“Somebody in my past really hurt me and broke my trust, I don’t know what it is but I’ve completely lost motivation to try again and I don’t know if I’ll ever get that desire back.” — OldSkoolLove

“I live in a city where almost everyone is ‘open’, ‘poly’, or in a ‘throuple’. And while I don’t judge anyone’s choices that is NOT what I want. On top of that the community I date in is extremely sex-centric and that also is NOT something I want. People my age still love to play this game of ‘who cares the least’. Had a good date? Let’s pretend we don’t care about each other and didn’t have fun so that it becomes a cat and mouse game, no matter if we have similar lifestyles and interests and had a great vibe. I can’t pretend to be someone who doesn’t care or at least respect someone else. If someone I leaving, I want them to ‘let me know they made it home safe’… and that’s just not how dating works anymore apparently. I guess we are not supposed to care about people or take an interest in their life to try and get to know them.” — yogadogdadtx21

“Spent 11 years grinding to get where I want to be in my career. Now I’m there and have plenty of money, but all the other 29 year olds are married, and the 24 year olds who aren’t don’t want to be in a serious relationship with an average looking 29 year old.” — MedThrowaway2018

“Widow at 36. Hard to find someone who really understands the position. Also, SOOOO many people I DO connect with (through work or mutual friends) are unhappily married. It’s insane. And disheartening.” — OutToLunch198

“Rather be single than settle. I want to live drama free and happy. Still would prefer a relationship, but we’ll see what happens.” — Psyblade0_0