You’re Not Bored Of The Relationship, You’re Just Past The Butterfly Phase
Jeff Isy

Maybe You’re Not Bored Of The Relationship, You’re Just Past The Butterfly Phase

Leave the relationship if your needs aren’t being met, if your person has nothing in common with you, if you feel like it’s hard to hold a conversation with them because they never listen to a word you say or turn everything into an argument. Leave if your boredom stems from the fact that the passion has died down and you can clearly see that you two make no sense together, emotionally. But don’t leave simply because you’ve grown a little bored after the honeymoon phase has ended. Give the relationship a chance to grow and blossom — not back into what it was because that version of you two is in the past. It should be growing into something new, something stronger and long-lasting.

Sometimes, even the greatest relationship is going to feel boring because you’ve settled into a routine that feels comfortable and neither of you want to disturb it. If that’s the case, all it takes is a little bit of spontaneity in order to feel better about the relationship again. And this starts by letting your partner know how you’re feeling. Keep the lines of communication open. Tell them what your heart wants because your interests might have changed since your first date. You might not be the same person with the same needs — and that’s okay. That’s part of growing up. Part of growing as a couple. But if you don’t fill your partner in on these changes, they are going to keep doing what they’ve always done. Not because they’re lazy. But because this is what they’ve been taught that you want. They’re trying to do the right thing by you. They won’t know anything is different unless you get vulnerable with them.

Remember, if you’re looking for a serious commitment, there are bound to be boring stretches. Your person can’t keep you entertained at all times — and that isn’t their responsibility, anyway. Sometimes, the relationship is going to feel boring because your partner is dealing with outside factors and can’t dedicate as much time to you as they would like, and it isn’t anyone’s fault. But you need to remember, you’re still your own individual. You can go out and have fun on your own as long as there’s established trust between you. You shouldn’t be relying on your partner to make you feel fulfilled because that’s a job for the person in the mirror. Your person should enhance your happiness, not create it from scratch.

Before you decide to walk away from a person who has always made you smile, who has always felt like the perfect fit, ask yourself whether you’re bored of the relationship or are simply past the butterfly phase. The relationship is never going to feel the same as it did in the beginning when every touch and conversation was new — but if you’re with the right person, there will still be excitement in reaching new milestones together, in working as a team and propelling each other toward your dream futures.