Overthinkers Are Always Making These Avoidable Mistakes In Conversations
“Rejecting compliments if you don’t agree with them. There’s so many times I have been told that I am pretty or someone has told me my personality is awesome and would argue with them on why I was not and then it seemed like they completely regretted complimenting me. When I was insecure, I would only accept the compliments I agreed with since I didn’t see the other ones as true. Compliments are not meant to reaffirm what you believe or don’t believe about yourself. Compliments are someone sharing a genuine thought with you.” — [deleted]
“Assuming you don’t belong or aren’t needed. For example, in the workplace. For meetings, we have a large table in the middle of the room as well as random seats along the edges of the room in case there aren’t enough seats at the table. I can’t tell you how often I see younger people not sitting at the table, even when there’s plenty of room for them. They also rarely speak up. If you were invited to a meeting, somebody decided that they wanted to hear what YOU have to say. Sitting along the edges tells everyone else how nervous and insecure you are. If you were invited, sit at the table and reassure yourself that you are indeed supposed to be there.” — [deleted]
“The constant apologizing. Listen to your Elton John: sorry should be the hardest word!” — laterdude
“Often, nervous people don’t understand that less is more in conversation. This includes giving long, multi-paragraph answers to questions that were just meant as casual conversation starters. Relax, and let the conversation develop on its own, you don’t have to worry about steering it. And let people get to know you at their own pace, asking what they want to know. Nervous people often overpopulate their stories and answers with too many details, not knowing what is important or interesting. Take a minimalist approach. And be interested in other people as well, don’t worry so much about your answers to their questions, think about what you want to know about them.” — zazzlekdazzle
“Don’t look down constantly when you walk or are talking with someone. I know there’s lots of cool things to find down there and even cash sometimes but it isn’t worth it, I promise. Walk at a deliberate pace standing straight, lift your chest up, push your shoulder blades together, pull your chin up but bring the back of your head down a little. Once you’ve got that down even look around with purpose, steady and intentional, don’t glance nervously. If you happen to lock eye contact with someone hold for 1-1.5 seconds, give a look maybe even smile or a polite micro-nod then look away purposely.” — b8le
“Worrying too much about consequences. Nervous people play out whole scenarios in their head about a situation, including the 40 things that could go wrong, and always focus on the most negative outcomes. I can’t talk to that guy, he won’t like me/might laugh at me. I can’t ask for a raise, I obviously don’t do enough to earn it and they might fire me for asking. It’s all risk vs reward and they convince themselves that the risk is so much greater than the reward that they psyche themselves out. Thinking about consequences is a good thing, don’t get me wrong, but maybe don’t only consider the absolute worst ones. That guy might laugh at me. Who the fuck cares. They might not give me a raise. They aren’t going to give you one if you don’t ask. Also, if they don’t value you then you know it is time to find another job.” —
ITworksGuys
“Laughing after a sentence which makes them feel uncomfortable is a biggie. Any time I see that happen, I think: ‘you’re not in your comfort zone right now.’ You can tell a lot about people by what they laugh about right after they say something.” — SunTzuIsMyFavourite
“If you make a mistake, just a roll with it, don’t let it stop you and don’t let anyone see you sweat.” — Nizpee
“Spotlight effect: One thinks that all eyes are on them. In reality few if any people are watching you and no one really gives a shit. You’re nervous because you think others are watching. I’m not because I know better.” — glutenfree_water
“Nervous people are afraid of failure. Go fail a few times, and you’ll eventually learn that failure is not as bad as your mind thinks it is. You’ll survive, trust me.” — goggleblock