The 4 Types Of ‘Relationship Papercuts’

When you get a paper cut, you don’t really feel it at first. It’s subtle. It isn’t until you touch something, like soap or lemon or alcohol, that the pain comes rushing in. This cut stings. It’s irritating. But if you don’t tend to the cut or they keep happening, over and over again, it becomes more than just a cut. It becomes a wound.

This happens in relationships too. You and your partner might say or do something that seems harmless at first, but that pain still exists. It still lingers, even if you don’t notice it, and because you don’t notice it, the wound inevitably gets deeper.

These are relationship paper cuts. To quote Taylor Swift, it’s death by a thousand cuts.

Here are some examples of relationship paper cuts:

Not treating your partner like a priority.

Your partner and your relationship should be a priority in your life, and under no circumstances should you treat them with disrespect and as if they’re not important. Not making time for them, bailing on plans, breaking promises, being on your phone when you’re spending time together, and forgetting small details about them — these are just a few examples. If you or your partner are not putting in an effort into making the relationship better, this is a deep cut.

Only expressing love on special occasions.

Every person expresses and wants love in different ways — it’s all dependent on our individual love languages. Still, you shouldn’t wait to show your love, devotion, and gratitude for one another only on holidays or special occasions. Don’t wait for Valentine’s Day to give them flowers or show affection. Don’t wait for their birthday to show them your gratitude and care for them. These neglected gestures might be unintentional, but they can still make you or your partner feel unvalued, unimportant, or unloved.

Lack of communication.

Failing to communicate effectively can create major paper cuts in a relationship. Don’t avoid serious conversations or conflicts. Don’t become defensive and argumentive any time there’s a problem. Don’t let the tension settle.

Critiquing your partner.

We all have flaws, some of which are difficult to change. We all have pet peeves. But if you are criticizing your partner or they’re criticizing you, constantly nitpicking things that are said and done, they become little cuts. These thoughtless remarks and offhanded comments sting. Not only do these critiques cause a hostile, judgemental energy between the two of you, but it also creates self-doubt and insecurities.

No relationship is perfect. Mistakes will be made. But don’t let the paper cuts become untreated. Take care of them.