The Month Your Frenemy Came Into the World
There are endless causes for covert tension in what appear to be perfectly cordial relationships to everyone looking in. Subtle shades of envy, healthy doses of competition, and foils who force us to self-evaluate all lend way to frenemy dynamics. Looking to understand your worthy opponent better through their birth sign? You’ve come to the right place.
April
It rubs you the wrong way whenever your April-born frenemy raises their hand first, steps up to the plate, or puts their name in the hat. You see it as over-the-top attention-seeking, but you see it that way because you resent the attention they receive. You would like to be in the spotlight for once — to be noticed for your hard work. However, you’re not willing to take action for it.
Your April-born counterpart has learned that you can’t just sit back and expect good things to come your way. Sure, maybe it’s annoying to hear the same person speaking over and over again, but you are equally capable of raising your hand. Don’t expect others to make themselves smaller so you can feel adequate.
May
Old money versus new money, boomers versus avocado toast, bankers versus the bird lady in Mary Poppins. Our society loves to comment, I dare say needs to comment on where, when, and how others spend money (attaching positive and negative morality to “opposing” viewpoints). This is the issue you take up with your May-born frenemy, but it’s not the wastefulness, excess, or irresponsibility you claim it to be.
What really bothers you is their decisiveness, self-worth, and comfort with their own mortality. They truly believe they deserve the things they want in life, and give themselves permission to spend money on them. They don’t hoard pennies out of fear, or a need to compete for the highest number in a savings account. They accept that they can’t take it with them when they go, and they know exactly what they want to do with their money in the time they have left.
June
You’re irked by your June-born frenemy’s constant complaining about how busy or tired they are. From your point of view, they’ve chosen the life they lead, and shouldn’t be complaining about things they could change (but choose not to). The deeper layer here is your jealousy regarding their ability to express negative emotions.
They’re neither the Stepford wife nor the archetypal “mess” (think Liz Lemon or Jennifer Lawrence on a press tour). They inhabit both sides of the same coin. There is no facade to protect, no success to downplay in the name of making themselves more palatable or relatable to the masses. They are living their dream, one day at a time, but when a dream becomes a life, it is also just a life.
July
You don’t trust someone born in July who’s too quiet. It puts you on edge — creates the perception that your frenemy is guarded around you. Everyone has a story to tell, everyone has problems they face and struggle with every day, even those born in July. What you can’t stand is how composed they always appear in spite of it.
When you project your inner turmoil onto their soft-spoken nature, it seems incongruent and insincere, but those are your issues. The things that are unresolved within you. July natives are self-aware and resilient, and if they don’t go on an auto-biographical tangent, it’s because they don’t need to talk through their own experience. They’ve done the soul-searching and processed the emotions. They have closure and confidence. They don’t need to reiterate old trauma to prove their humanity to you.
August
The problem with your frenemy is that they have too many friends. When you take a look at someone born in August’s social circle, you think it is impossible to sincerely like that many people — all with different personalities and quirks. It makes you doubt their sincerity and question what they really think about you. You imagine all of the hurtful things they could be saying about you behind your back. No one likes that feeling, even if it’s just imagined.
You’ve failed to imagine that your frenemy knows this well and may treat people so warmly in an attempt to right past wrongs. Yes, it is impossible to be best friends with everyone in this world, but it is not impossible to treat them with respect and to create space for everyone to feel welcome.
September
You hate losing to someone born in September. Even if you’re standing on the podium next to them, you loathe being second to their first. You see them as someone who has to win as a matter of principle, even over something as ridiculous as a thumb war. The constant competition grates on your nerves like a spoon in a garbage disposal. However, if we peel back the onion, the root of your discomfort stems from your frenemy’s commitment to giving everything their all.
September-born individuals don’t slack off. They’re not afraid to try something new. They don’t dial it down to 80% to fit in with the group. They constantly push themselves to the max, because they’re not afraid to find out what they’re capable of. Disappointment is not a concern, because they have the comfort of knowing their true limits without any ‘what ifs’.
October
To steal a line from Hannah Montana, your frenemy has “the best of both worlds”, and it doesn’t seem fair to you. In a world that constantly demands complete devotion to the pursuit of one thing — career, family, fame, wealth, the perfect body, a particular skill — they have irons in so many fires.
Seeing someone born in October thrive exposes all of the areas where you feel a lack in your own life. It makes you regret all of the sacrifices you’ve made in the name of chasing that “one thing.” someone born in October knows their talents and preferences, knows what they have to offer the world, and they’re not going to throw everything away in exchange for just one thing. They’re not the Little Mermaid who gives away their voice in exchange for a smokin’ hot pair of legs. They find a way to get where they want to go without leaving everything else behind.
November
Your November-born frenemy always has the right answer. They always seem to catch on before you and get along with people better than you do. Everything seems to come naturally to them, and you can’t stand when their intuition turns toward you. It feels like they can see right through all of your defenses without lifting a finger. But that’s just because you’re not doing exactly what they do best — paying attention.
Someone born in November may look like they glide smoothly through the world without friction, but they are expending a tremendous amount of energy. It’s like Michael’ Jackson’s moonwalk: it looks easy in the moment (when no one is thinking about the years of dance training). Someone born in November is constantly working, constantly preparing, constantly observing everything around them. You’d see what they see if you put more effort into looking for it.
December
If your frenemy is someone born in December, they march to the beat of their own drum (and it’s the obnoxious kind you can still hear when you try to drown it out with your headphones). You hate how they show up late, have to put their own spin on an assignment, or must dress just a little differently than everyone else. It bothers you that they can’t just fall in line. They ask too many questions and push back without hesitation. They’re too self-assured.
At the bottom of all this irritation is a refusal to acknowledge all of the desires you are too scared or intimidated to act on: the clothes you wish were in your closet, the ideas you wanted to pitch to the team, the enjoyment you’d get from life if you weren’t always in a rush.
January
You just want your January-born frenemy to give up. Can’t they just stop trying to make friends with the grumpiest person in the class? Why not give DuoLingo and their terrible French accent a break? You want them to just let failure knock them on their ass and keep them there. It’s like watching someone try to tunnel themselves out of prison with a spoon.
They bother you because you know you don’t have the patience, dedication, or fortitude to complete the tedious tasks it takes to get somewhere big. You can’t make it through all the failed auditions it takes to get cast in a feature film. You can’t endure the cuts and bruises it takes to learn to ride a skateboard. They can.
February
Your frenemy gets under your skin because they’re always a step ahead. It’s a “keeping up with the Joneses” of the mind. Innovation is not something you can buy in higher quantity or quality than them. The biggest difference between the two of you — the secret sauce you are looking to steal from them — is ironically a question that contains its own answer.
They have you beat because, while you’re so busy watching them, they are fully immersed in original thought. They are looking for the things that aren’t there. For the spaces in their life, in the world, where there is room for improvement. Any attempt to imitate them is self-defeating. If you can overcome your ego, there is a chance to collaborate instead of compete.
March
Having someone born in March frenemy is like the match-up between Hermione and Professor Trelawney. You can’t have a conversation with them because you don’t speak in the same terms. You want to quantify, categorize, and evaluate. They want to describe, imagine, and experience. They thrive in the arbitrary and ephemeral, whereas you demand logic and consistency.
March exposes your biggest weakness: discomfort with the unknown, and your need to have all the answers. What you crassly label “pseudo-science” is merely something that can’t yet be explained. Someone born in March is more interested in the misunderstood than the things we’ve already figured out from top to bottom. They seek out new frontiers. You’re so focused on following in others’ footsteps that you can’t see they’re not aimlessly wandering. They’re trailblazing.