The Only 3 Zodiacs You Should Call When There’s Trouble

Just get dumped? Lost your job? Insulted by your mother in law? Need to hide a body? When you can’t–and shouldn’t–go it alone, these are the three zodiacs you should call for help. Each one has their own set of skills that make them perfect when there’s trouble, from fighting on your behalf to holding your hand while you cry. Keep your friends’ numbers at the ready if they fit these three killer zodiac signs. For best results, call all three at once so you have a whole team of badasses to help you when you need them.

Aries

When you don’t have the energy or the fiery personality to do your own fighting, an Aries will do it for you. They don’t even need to know all the details. As soon as they see a common enemy, they’ll attack. Aries are the type to speak first and think later, which makes it easy for them to say the meanest and most cutting thing as soon as it’s needed, rather than thinking of it only later when it’s no help at all. If they get even an inkling that you need to be defended, they’re the one you want in your corner. Whoever’s causing you strife likely won’t do it again. Not if there’s a chance they could run afoul of the Aries again.

Capricorn

Call the Capricorn when you need someone to handle the next steps. Capricorns are great for the concrete action plan you’ll need when you don’t have the energy to figure it out yourself. They’ll clean up your place when you’re too busy grieving. They’ll have a list of businesses to call to get rid of your exes stuff or to file for a restraining order. Capricorns show they care by getting things done, and when there’s big trouble, that’s when they truly shine. You don’t even have to ask twice–the best Capricorns are there as soon as they sense any trouble.

Pisces

After you’ve been defended by the Aries and given tasks by the Capricorn, there’s one thing left that you need: A hug and a hefty crying session. That’s where the Pisces comes in. They’re ready with a box of tissues and are happy to hear all about what happened. You don’t have to worry that you’re being “too much” or “too emotional,” the Pisces understands you’re going through something big and need the help. They also have mad skills when it comes to pumping you up. They’ll tell you how much of a queen you are, and won’t stop until you finally believe it. They’re the one in your corner who will make you feel like you can finally put yourself back together again.