We talk a lot about the bare minimum here on Collective World. It’s such a well of info because so many of us have such a low bar that if a guy even picks up after himself once we’re hearing wedding bells. Obviously, we all deserve better than that. Unfortunately, it can be tough to see when a guy isn’t pulling his weight until we’ve sunk several years and a lot of tears into trying to make it work. Well, there’s a TikTok user, Laura Danger (@thatdarnchat) who’s been exposing some of the toxic behavior of men in relationships, hopefully getting women to know their worth and raise the bar a little.
While Laura had been popping up in my FYP here and there for a while now, it wasn’t until she stitched a popular creator that I started to really take notice. I’m sure we’ve all seen @therealrahulrai. Rahul posts the kind of thirst trap content that’s all about making women feel wanted and special. I’d be lying if I said it didn’t work on me at least some of the time. He recently posted a video titled “Little things to do to make her day a little easier.”
In the video, he’s making intense eye contact with the camera while he’s doing things like folding laundry, doing dishes, and putting dirty clothes in the laundry basket. Of course, his fans ate it up. The comments are filled with gems like these: “We love all of that 🥰” and “the dream.” Not all of his fans were convinced, though, and that’s where Laura Danger comes in.
In her stitch, she points out something really important. If he’s saying that these are “little things you can do to make her day a little easier,” that means he thinks that these are things she would or should normally do. When in fact, they’re bare minimum things he should be doing in the first place. In the caption, she says, “Doing your fair share is not a favor to her. #nomoremediocremen.” Why else would doing them maker her day easier?
And that’s really the crux of this. There are bare minimum men out there who think they deserve praise for doing what they should have already been doing. They want us to thirst over them for pulling even a quarter of their weight in the home.
Since Laura’s takedown of Rahul, TikTok’s algorithm clearly thinks I agree with her (and they’re right!), so her videos have been filling up my FYP feed. She has great examples of behavior that men think we should applaud them for and how it’s actually not so noble. She talks about how mediocre men benefit from the shitty ones so they can do the bare minimum and feel like a king. And how women–and anyone dating or married to these bare minimum partners–need to start expecting more and never accepting less.
Check out her takedown of Rahul below:
If you want to see more, follow Laura Danger on TikTok: @thatdarnchat.