When you finally learn what you deserve, you will feel shame.
You will feel ashamed for accepting anything less. You will feel ashamed for not asking for your needs to be met. You will feel ashamed for accepting crumbs and saying it kept you full.
It’s okay to feel that shame. It’s okay to feel sorry for yourself. But what’s not okay is letting it convince you that your mistreatment was your fault. What’s not okay is recognizing this and still continuing to abandon yourself.
Accepting anything less than you deserved in a relationship was an act of self-abandonment. It was a coping mechanism that stemmed from self-doubt, low self-esteem, and a desire to please others. It’s a very common behavior, one that needs to be unlearned.
You kept yourself small for fear that they would think you were too much. You kept yourself quiet for fear of rejection. You accepted less than you deserved because you convinced yourself–and this other person–that that was all you were worth.
When you finally learn what you deserve, you will put in the effort to stand up for yourself and ask for your needs to be met. You will no longer accept the bare minimum as enough. You will no longer look at love through rose-colored glasses, convincing yourself This is all there is for me. You will no longer accept a love that is too small, too delicate, too quiet. You will finally believe that you deserve so much more.