You Want A Partner, Not A Man-Child

You’re in a relationship with a man. Not a man-child.

“Man-child” is a term used to describe an adult who is immature and irresponsible. You shouldn’t be taking care of your partner as if you were their parent. You deserve someone who is mature, healthy, and ready for a real relationship.

You want someone who will take responsibility.

One of the most attractive features of any man is his ability to take responsibility for his actions. It can be considered a green flag, even.

A man-child will rely heavily on others to handle his problems. He will lack the personal maturity to make his own decisions. He spends money frivolously and has a hard time managing his finances. He acts up in the relationship and doesn’t own up to it.

You deserve someone who is mature enough to take responsibility.

You want someone who has good communication skills.

A man-child will avoid having those deep conversations with you or any talk about the future. A man-child will rarely express empathy for you and merely listens to respond. A man-child gives you the silent treatment or acts out in passive-aggressive behavior when he’s upset, instead of talking things out.

You deserve someone who will have those tough conversations with you. Someone who will be emotionally mature enough to be willing to have deep conversations, who listens to understand, who talks things out with you. You deserve someone who communicates with you. Remember, communication is the absolute bare minimum in a relationship.

You want someone who is reliable.

It’s incredibly unattractive when someone is flaky or unreliable. A man-child is someone who breaks promises, is late and fails to follow through on commitments. And if he’s really a man-child, he won’t take responsibility for being flaky. He’ll make up an excuse and maybe blame someone or something else.

You deserve a partner who will follow through on commitments and promises. You deserve more than what a man-child is (barely) offering.

You want someone who is good at commitment and puts in an effort.

Commitment is scary…to a man-child.

You want someone who will put in the effort to get to know you on a deeper level, and who will commit to creating a life with you. You want someone who talks about a future with you. You want someone who has had serious relationships before (because they understand how much work goes into them). You want someone who puts in the effort to make future travel plans with you. You want all of these things — and you deserve that. So don’t convince yourself into thinking that you’re asking for too much. Don’t settle for anything less.

You want someone who isn’t self-centered.

There’s a difference between self-love and self-centeredness.

Relationships are a two-way street. You don’t want a partner who prioritizes their own needs and desires over yours. You don’t want a partner who lacks empathy and only cares about themselves.

You deserve someone who understands and cares about your feelings as well as the feelings of others. You deserve someone who takes the time to listen to what you say and empathizes with how you feel. You deserve someone who has emotional maturity.

You want someone who is good at compromise and conflict resolution.

Healthy relationships involve compromise, understanding, and conflict resolution.

A man-child might be unwilling to meet halfway. A man-child might not make sacrifices for the sake of the relationship because they simply don’t care enough about the relationship to try. A man-child avoids talking about a problem calmly and rationally. Instead, he yells. He blames. He avoids the problem altogether.

You want — and deserve — someone who handles conflicts in a mature, rational, constructive manner. You deserve someone who will talk through a problem and is open to compromise and resolution. You deserve someone who puts in an effort because he cares about the relationship.

No one is perfect. No relationship is perfect. But you shouldn’t be settling for a relationship with a partner who acts more like a man-child. If you’re with someone who you think might still have some growing up to do, then let them. And move on.