Your Definition Of Hell, Based On Your Birth Order

First Born

Oldest children are so incredibly used to being in charge, and asked for advice, and just generally being the person that everyone turns to. For an oldest child, the idea of having someone else that could be ahead of them on the advice train? That people are going to others instead of them? Absolute. Nightmare.

Oldest children just want to know that people give a shit about what they have to say. They want to know that you care, and that you take them seriously. So for oldest children the thought that someone they care about might going somewhere else for their life advice or their “carpe diem” moments? Not okay. Not okay in the slightest. It will drive them up the wall and they’ll text the whoever to try and get the dirt in order to put their two-cents in — trust. They have the WORST case of last word syndrome and finding out that there is a situation in which they could be wording IN, but aren’t being asked? They won’t be able to deal.

Somewhere In The Middle

Middle children are the absolutely most competitive of their siblings. When they find something that’s theirs, they run with it and do not look back. They absolutely live for having a skill or a talent that is untapped in their family, and that they excel at harder than anyone else.

Which is why for a middle child there’s nothing worse than when someone else (family or otherwise) swoops in and wins the metaphorical talent show. They HATE taking second place and always want to be the one being talked about, praised, and walking away with the blue ribbon. This follows them into adulthood where they can be kind of difficult co-workers due to their ridiculously competitive nature. They just want to be the best, and if they’re not? It will without question drive them crazy.

Youngest

Youngest children are very accustomed to attention and being fawned over. Their first memories probably entail everyone being excited to hold the new baby, and thus they are very used to (and love being) the life of the party. A baby of the family never quite grows out of that incipient inclination to always seek out praise and attention.

So if someone else is getting all of it? They will have a serious case of FOMO. They’ll play along as best they can until they get home where they’ll obsess and dissect and try to figure out what so-and-so is doing or has that they do not. They’ll drive themselves absolutely crazy trying to one up the person who is (in their minds) more liked, and they’ll get themselves into an tizzy by comparing themselves to someone they are not.

Twin

Nothing drives a twin crazier than being mistaken for their twin, or simply feeling like they aren’t an individual.

Think about it. They’ve grown up with/spent their entire lives with someone who is basically a carbon copy of themselves. They’ve answered redundant questions like, “Which one of you is which?” or, “Can your parents tell you apart?” over and over and over again. So the 11th circle of hell for a twin is having to constantly relive that. It’s feeling that they aren’t allowed to be their own person, and will always be defined by having someone who shares their DNA makeup.

Only Child

Only children are the more introverted extroverts, or just completely introverted, of people. They crave alone time, nest into spaces, and really feel most at home when they’re able to make their own little world that belongs to only them.

So for an only child, the idea of having to cohabitate or coexist with someone in what was once their sanctuary is absolutely AWFUL. It’s the feeling of being smothered and they’ll be wildly uncomfortable and shut down around the idea. For an only child there is absolutely nothing worse than feeling like they have to share something that in their mind shouldn’t belong to anyone other than them. They need their space like they need oxygen, and if they can’t have it they will absolutely suffocate.