4 Concrete Signs He Has A Secure Attachment Style

Attachment theory was first introduced in the 1950s to explore the relationships children share with their caregivers. In the 1980s, attachment theory was then applied to adult relationships.

In adults, there are four main attachment styles: anxious, avoidant, disorganized, and secure.

Secure attachment develops during childhood when someone’s parents or primary caregivers are able to be aware and responsive to their needs. Research has predicted around 66 percent of the U.S. population has a secure attachment style.

Those with a secure attachment style are emotionally healthy and have meaningful and long-lasting relationships. As such, here are four signs he has a secure attachment style.

1. He is able to regulate his emotions within your relationship.

Basically, he takes ownership of his own feelings. Now, this isn’t to say he doesn’t seek out emotional support as needed or let you know when something you did bothers him. He absolutely does, as communication is a vital component of emotional intelligence. However, he understands that he is the one ultimately responsible for regulating his emotions, not you.

2. He isn’t afraid to be vulnerable (and isn’t stand-offish when you’re vulnerable either).

Emotions don’t scare him, whether those are his own (see point one) or yours. He is emotionally available and able to provide emotional support when you need him. In fact, he encourages openness and honesty within your partnership.

3. He is comfortable when you both need alone time.

He doesn’t feel insecure when you go out with your friends, spend time with your family, or just to take a minute to yourself. He isn’t jealous easily and doesn’t question your intentions or honesty. In other words, he trusts you.

He understands that there still needs to be a sense of self outside of your relationship. He embraces the fact that you are both still individuals within a partnership.

4. He knows his worth.

He is confident in himself and knows he has value and something to offer. He sees himself in a positive light. That said, he also sees others as worthy as well. He is warm, friendly, and not suspicious of others. He generally believes people are good and have honest intentions.

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Attachment styles aren’t static and can change over time. If someone has one of the insecure attachment styles, they can work towards developing secure attachment style and have healthier, happier relationships as a result.