6 Concrete Signs ‘The One Who Got Away’ Wasn’t Actually Your Soulmate

Maybe you can’t stop thinking about the one who got away – but that doesn’t mean you were supposed to be together. It doesn’t mean your relationship could have worked out any differently if you tried harder or made a change. Here are a few concrete signs the person you always considered ‘the one who got away’ wasn’t actually your soulmate:

They left you excited half the time – and disappointed the other half.

You deserve a partner who is consistent. They shouldn’t pick and choose when to treat you right. They shouldn’t bring you immense joy one day, and immense disappointment the next. If the one who got away only felt like the one half the time, then they weren’t enough for you. You need someone who shows up every single day, no excuses.

You weren’t the best version of yourself around them.

Your partner should bring out your best qualities, not your worst. You should like who you are when they’re standing in a room with you. If this person mostly brought out your jealous side or your mopey side, then they aren’t actually your soulmate. You deserve someone who makes you want to be the best partner possible. Someone who inspires you to reach your full potential.

You put in noticeably more effort than they did.

You might feel like they were the one who got away because your feelings for them were so strong – but you need to ask yourself whether they actually put any effort into being with you. Remember, you can’t sustain a relationship with someone who is uninterested in putting in the work. You need a partner who is going to make you feel loved and supported. A partner who is going to do their fair share of the work, even when it’s inconvenient.

You had conflicting feelings about how to spend the rest of your lives.

You need to have aligning views for the future in order to make a relationship last. If you felt differently about how many children you wanted to have (and if you wanted to have any at all), whether you wanted to get married, and the location you wanted to live, then you’re better off apart. Neither of you should have to sacrifice what you really want to be together.

You shared different values.

Having chemistry is one thing. But having shared values is another thing entirely. You can’t make a relationship last based on passion alone. You need so much more than that in order to spend the rest of your lives together, so if the one who got away was on a completely different page than you, it was never meant to last.

They failed to prioritize you.

You can’t expect to be your partner’s whole world – but you should be a huge part of it. If the one who got away never treated you like a priority, then a relationship never would have worked, despite how much they cared for you. You deserve a relationship where your partner treats you like a priority, not a bonus or a backup plan.