How Social Media Blocks You From Fulfilling Your Potential

Did you notice that you are stuck in a cycle of posting online and checking what comes afterward? Likes? Dislikes? Comments? What about the engagement rate? And a sacred conversion rate?

We are willingly making ourselves vulnerable by putting our thoughts, ideas, and creative works out into the online world. And we suffer when we don’t receive the feedback we wished for. (What a surprise!)

We are seeking outside validation, which more often than not threatens our self-acceptance.

We’re making our imperfect lives look perfect. We hide our insecurities and emphasize what we believe are our best selves. We are selectively exposing our personalities, thinking that we have control over how others see us. And with all these extra efforts—hours of photo/video shooting, writing, photoshopping, editing, redoing—we’re getting more and more miserable anyway.

We share information with the world and then worry about their response. How many likes have my photos/posts/videos generated? Is it enough or do I now look like a fool?

It gets to the point where we don’t accept ourselves unless we are accepted by others. We allow others to control our self-worth and dictate our failure and success.

We seek a benchmark, a measurement, comparisons to define our worth.

And in this day and age, we can access the immediate response that reveals our significance easier and faster than ever. With a single click, you start collecting data on how your peers relate to you. Do they like or hate you? Are they on the same page with you? Do they care about your existence?

The more you look at online metrics, the more obsessed you become with them. Your self-love depends on numbers, which are, in truth, misleading. You attach great importance to them, so much so that you experience a racing heart, dry mouth, upset stomach, and other physical responses that have a detrimental effect on your body. Is your worth in the eyes of others worth it?

It doesn’t end with physical consequences, though. It impedes your creative process and self-expression. You inhibit your urges to innovate so that you avoid risking your social image. It’s not always a bad thing. Some constraints are welcomed. The majority of us won’t like other humans walking around naked, defecating on streets and building castles with it. (Don’t ask me how I came up with this example.)

But it’s not the extreme that worries me. The troubling extreme is that we are becoming slaves of meaningless button clicks and screen touches. Just imagine how you feel when you receive one hundred likes within 10 minutes. And now imagine what it’s like to get one hundred dislikes within the same 10 minutes. There are two of you now. One is elevated, and another one is deeply miserable.

What if the validation you so badly wish for doesn’t come? Would you interpret it as a failure? Identify yourself as a loser? Or just eat a bucket of ice cream and hope tomorrow will be a better day?

It takes resilience, confidence, and pride to stay true to your values and beliefs regardless of external evaluation. These qualities of a strong character are forged with years. But at this moment of your journey, understand that you are not a $100 bill that everyone likes.

Others are watching you, and judging you, and vilifying you. You are judging and belittling others, too. When we share online, we should be mentally prepared for rejection, but not let it define us.

When participating in the social media world, sign an agreement with yourself.

Instead of checking metrics and seeking approval over and over again, use your time for growing and creating.

There is a line between pleasing yourself and pleasing others, between creating to fulfill oneself and creating for the sake of others’ approval. What style is more appealing to you?