How To Stop Hurting Your Partner (Based On Your Birth Month)

January

You’re hurting your partner by holding back compliments. Don’t be afraid of sounding mushy. Tell them how you feel when the moment strikes. It’ll reaffirm your feelings for them. Remember, just because they know you care doesn’t mean they’re okay with going weeks without hearing it out loud.

February

You’re hurting your partner by keeping secrets from them. Even though you’re trying to spare them from your drama, healthy relationships are about being transparent. You don’t want to shut them out. They want to know what you’re going through. They want to help you through your pain.

March

You’re hurting your partner by making them your entire world. They shouldn’t be completely responsible for your happiness. It’s not fair to put that kind of pressure on them. You both need to have lives outside of the relationship. You can spend most of your time together, but not every second together.

April

You’re hurting your partner by insisting you have it your way. A healthy relationship requires compromise. It requires give and take. If you want to keep your partner happy, you need to hear out their side of the story and see the situation from their point of view. Remember, you’re not competing against them. You’re working alongside them.

May

You’re hurting your partner by allowing them to do the bulk of the work. Even though your partner might be okay with taking on most of the chores, that doesn’t mean it’s right. That doesn’t mean you should let them do everything. Play your role. Put in an equal amount of effort.

June

You’re hurting your partner by being brutally honest. No, you shouldn’t lie to your partner, but you can tell the truth in a more gentle fashion. You shouldn’t blurt out the first thing that pops into your head without thinking through the consequences. You can get the same point across in a more respectful way.

July

You’re hurting your partner by pretending you’re fine when there’s a problem. Even though you might worry that confrontation will pull you apart, it could actually help you grow as a couple. If you lock up your feelings, then problems will only snowball. It’s much better to be honest about how you feel now, before it grows worse.

August

You’re hurting your partner by holding them to impossible standards. No, you shouldn’t let your partner get away with treating you poorly, but if they make a minor mistake, it’s not the worst thing in the world. They’re only human. They aren’t always going to get it right. What matters is that they own up to their mistakes and put legitimate effort into doing better next time.

September

You’re hurting your partner by trying to change them against their will. Even though you’re trying to help them reach their fullest potential because you believe in them, that doesn’t make what you’re doing right. You either need to accept them the way they are or walk away. Because you can’t change the parts of them they don’t want to change.

October

You’re hurting your partner by depending on them too much. Even though your partner should be willing to help you when you ask, they shouldn’t be doing every little thing for you. You shouldn’t need them to survive. You should still have a sense of independence. You should still be able to take care of yourself.

November

You’re hurting your partner by bringing up past mistakes over and over again. You either need to forgive them once and for all–or if they’ve made such a horrible error that you can’t forgive them, then leave them. Either way, bringing up the same issues again and again is only going to cause you both pain.

December

You’re hurting your partner by making unrealistic promises. Even though you want to give them the world, don’t tell them that you’ll definitely do something that you aren’t sure if you have the time, the energy, or the means to do. It’s better to be honest with them now than to let them down later. It will hurt less in the long run.