If He Says You Deserve Better, Take His Advice And Leave

The first time a guy told me I deserved better than him, I thought it was romantic. In my defense, I was 22 and a self-aware man was charming to me. But mostly, it gave me hope. Hope that he would change and give me the “better” he knew I deserved.

Spoiler alert: He never did. And I honestly wish I had called it quits the very second he told me I deserved more than him. Because he was right, and I would have saved myself a lot of time and heartbreak had I walked away sooner.

Maybe my experience resonates with you also. Perhaps you too have been with (or are currently dating) a dude who constantly affirms that you deserve better than the bare minimum he’s putting into your relationship. And yet, he continues to make absolutely zero effort to actually do better and give you more.

When you’re in the midst of a relationship like this, it’s so hard to let go and so easy to get wrapped up in the hope of it all. The potential. The idea of who he could be and what you could be together.

Because not only does he know he could do better, he knows what that better looks like. He understands what you’re looking for because you’ve told him time and time again. He knows what he needs to do because you’ve literally laid it all out for him.

Here’s a tough but freeing truth: He’s not going to do better because what he’s doing is working for him. After all, you’re still around. You’re still spending time together. You’re still giving him access to you. Why would he do more if there are no consequences for his actions?

So, you have a choice. You can either continue to give him more time and waste yours or you can choose yourself and say move on to find someone who will actually value you. And I hope you decide on the latter. While this may mean being single longer and feeling lonely at times, it’s always better to be alone than it is to be with the wrong person.

Please remember that you are not an afterthought. You are not an option. You are not just someone to text to pass the time. You are the choice, you are the destination, you are the real damn thing, or you are nothing to him.

And when you break things off, he may beg for you back. He may promise to change. He may ask for another chance. But honestly, if it took losing you for him to realize what he had, let him learn from his mistake the hard way because you should be with someone who saw your worth all along.

If he says you deserve better, take his advice and leave. Go find it. Good love is out there.