If he wanted to be with you, you wouldn’t be asking yourself if he did. Because if he did, he’d be there time and time again. He wouldn’t only show up when it was convenient for him. He wouldn’t make you decipher his mixed signals and hot-and-cold behavior. He wouldn’t leave you feeling confused. He wouldn’t make you guess which version of himself you were going to get on a given day.
In other words, he’d be consistent and consistency is the foundation of trust and trust is the foundation of a healthy, lasting partnership. A relationship cannot survive on what-ifs and maybes. Love needs stability, nurturing, and care. Inconsistency will never accomplish those things.
Everything is information. People will always show you how they feel about you. And if a man is acting like he doesn’t really give a shit about you or the relationship, it is because he doesn’t really give a shit.
Inconsistency is not a sign of potential because you see him as the man you need every once in a while. Love doesn’t exist on a part-time basis. You deserve a man who is all in. You deserve a man who actually cares about you. You deserve effort. You deserve to feel valued. You deserve consistency.
Now, I know you may want to be understanding. Maybe he is always complaining about how busy work is, how much of himself he still has to figure out, etc. etc. etc. And maybe he is in over his head at work or struggling to figure out what he wants. Okay. Sure.
Here is the thing: It doesn’t matter. Literally. None. Of. It. Because you’re also busy. You’re also navigating the murky waters of adulthood. That doesn’t stop you from showing up. So why does he get to pick and choose when he’s a good boyfriend? Stop making excuses for a man who didn’t ask you to make them in the first place.
If he’s inconsistent, cut him out. You’re better off.