Amir Esrafili

If You Feel Lost, This Is For You

I promise you that it’s okay not to have it all figured out.

The truth is that no one does. We’re all on this crazy journey called life, doing the best we can day by day. Even if someone appears to have their life set up perfectly, that’s just an illusion. You can present any image you like to the outside world. That doesn’t make it real. You too could showcase a curated idea of yourself, and perhaps you do. Perhaps that’s how you try to protect yourself from feeling insecure and unsure. 

It’s okay to admit to your doubts, fears, and worries. Everyone has them. You’re a human being, not an android! What holds you back isn’t a lack of intelligence or capability. It’s a reluctance to step into the unknown and believe that the world has a plan for you, even when you can’t see it yet. It’s the disconnection between you and your body, leaving you unaware of how to trust and understand yourself. If you don’t know how to trust yourself, you won’t be able to leap. You have to know, deep down, that you can and will be caught.

I have a secret for you—I have no idea what’s coming next in my life, and I’m the happiest I’ve ever been. Once I realized that I don’t have to have it all figured out—and that I never will anyway—I could relax and focus on the present moment. Now I keep my heart and eyes open to new opportunities where before I was too preoccupied and afraid to see them. Now that I fiercely love and trust myself, everything works out eventually. It’s not always what I expected, if ever, but it’s always what is meant to happen at that time.

I now believe that life is happening for me, not to me. Taking ownership and control over my decisions has made all the difference.

It’s okay to feel lost, to feel like you aren’t sure where you’re going. Just take the next right step, and then the next, and the next. One foot at a time, walk down your path and make sure to check out the sights and sounds along the way. You can’t do this wrong, seriously. As long as you move forward, as long as you don’t stay in the same place, paralyzed by fear, you’re making progress. Fear and anxiety are your enemies. They will never do anything to serve your life. Become determined to trust yourself and not let them win.

We all feel lost at times. We all feel doubt and uncertainty creep in. Even when everything seems to be going well, it’s difficult not to worry that it’ll change. Let me save you energy by promising you something: Things won’t be great forever. That’s not how life works. You can’t control most of what happens in the world around you, so why waste time worrying about it? Focus on what you can control, which includes your perspective on what you can’t. 

You can decide how you want to feel. You can choose how you want to move forward—even when you don’t know where you’ll end up. The point is the journey, not the destination. There’s no end to this ride until it’s actually over. You’re right where you’re meant to be.

Give yourself some love and compassion, today, and every day. You’re doing your best, and that’s all that’s required. It’s perfectly normal to feel like you don’t have it all figured out. You’ve got this. You’re going to be okay.