Lucas Queiroz

If You Want To Build Up Your Self-Esteem, Start Here

Hello reader, I take it that you’re interested in building your self-esteem? Well, you’ve come to the right place! Before we get into tips and tricks, it’s important to first understand what self-esteem means.

According to Oxford Languages and Google, self-esteem means “confidence in one’s own worth or abilities; self-respect.”

Cambridge Dictionary then defines self-esteem as “belief and confidence in your own ability and value.”

Lastly, Merriam-Webster denotes self-esteem as “a feeling of having respect for yourself and your abilities.”

Essentially, one’s self-esteem is a subjective evaluation of their abilities and worth. It focuses on one’s belief system and one’s emotional state. This can go a number of ways from believing that you are worthy of all good things in life to believing you are unloved and worthless. Self-esteem is how you value yourself as a person.

The neat thing about self-esteem is that it can be improved! Some people may believe that self-esteem is an inherent trait… that you are either born with it or you’re born without it. This is not true. Self-esteem is something that can be worked upon and can improve with time and effort. So how do we go about this process?

1. Put Your Own Needs First

If you’ve been struggling with low self-esteem, chances are you may be putting others’ needs before your own. While this may come from a caring and loving place, it may be time to remind yourself that you’re human too! You have feelings, goals, opinions, and plans for your life. Like everyone else, your life matters. Try to start exercising putting your needs first. This will show yourself that you’re important and worthy.

2. Work On Your Own Self-Respect

How much do you respect yourself? Do you believe that you have value inherently as a human being? Do you believe that you have a right to be happy? Do you believe that you deserve to be happy? Take your time answering these questions. Simply by virtue of being born, we are entitled to and worthy of the joys of life. Raising our self-respect occurs when we are able to see ourselves as successful and worthy because we were born a child of the universe. You hold value because you are the one who is in charge of your life. By holding a high level of respect for yourself and your happiness, you can naturally align with your highest and best.

3. Get Good At Something

It’s a good idea to start developing a skill. This can be anything from a hobby you’re passionate about to something you are innately good at. Having a skill will improve your self-esteem because you’ll feel competent and confident in that area. Here you are demonstrating to yourself that you can develop, progress, and improve. You have a valuable skill to offer the world that you can be proud of. Eventually, you’ll start to see yourself in a different light. Your self-limiting beliefs will slowly fade and you’ll gradually see your self-esteem improve.

4. Fully Acknowledge Your Past Mistakes

So often we are bogged down by guilt, regret, and shame over some of our past mistakes. We tend to react emotionally to these situations, which can leave us feeling stuck and depressed. It is important to realize that mistakes are essential to our learning and growing process. Only by making these mistakes are we able to grow into better versions of ourselves. Try to shift the mindset to acceptance, accountability, and action. This would look like saying “Okay, I made a mistake. What can I learn from that and how can I improve?” Try making a list of your past mistakes and beside each mistake write the lesson that you got from it. Taking accountability and learning from your mistakes will leave you with a sense of authenticity and empowerment.

5. Build A Healthy Supportive Environment

Take a look at the people you hang around most. Do they support your goals or do they subtly put you down? Do they fill your days with energizing conversations or are they complaining and gossiping all the time? Also, take a look at your living space. Is it cluttered or tidy? While self-esteem is an internal process, your external environment can play a part. Perhaps your cluttered room reinforces a belief that you’re not worthy of living in a clean and healthy environment. Perhaps your social circle reinforces a belief that you’re not worthy of healthy relationships. It is important that we surround ourselves with people and things that send messages to ourselves that we are good enough and worthy!