Oleksandr Pidvalnyi

The 7 Most Important Lessons I Learned About Healing From Grief Therapy

Grief, to the dismay of anyone who has ever loved, is a lifelong journey. It is a valley of unknowns, a story of immense, seemingly unsurvivable heartache, and yet it is a road we will all slowly walk through at some point in our earthly sensibilities. It is a season of this gift called life that none of us are ever prepared for when it undoubtedly arrives to erupt the very fabric of our beings. 

And yet, even in the stories of loss we never thought we’d have to live through, the middle of the nights we felt our hearts physically shattering, and the small moments where the significance of our heartache demands to be acknowledged, a little thing called hope is still present. Hope hides itself behind the darkest of days, then seemingly returns to view when light and love shed prayers and healing over our brokenness. 

Throughout my journey, I have been blessed with the calming nature of others who have carried me through life after loss. Many of the lessons I now hold onto so dearly have come from these lovely people, especially those I have met through grief therapy. Here is just some of the wisdom I have collected to beam even a small sense of hope, peace, and healing over any shattered heart reading this. 

1. You will never go back to the person you were before. You are forever changed and a part of you will forever be missing.

2. Your fear of death and of people leaving without saying goodbye is valid, but also stifling. We are meant to love others; it is this love that makes life worth living.

3. You will have to grieve alone, separate from the influences of anyone else also experiencing this loss. Your grief is not theirs, and their grief is not yours.

4. Sometimes, it is okay to break down in tears just moments after you were smiling. It is normal to feel guilty for having happy moments when your lost loved ones are no longer here to enjoy them, too.

5. Although it may not seem like it in the hardest of moments, one day, you will get better. You will smile again without the creeping and overwhelming feeling of guilt captivating the search for your heart’s true contentment. 

6. You will eventually be gifted a new love and appreciation for life. Waking up again each and every day, with breath in your lungs and hope in your heart, will feel like the most profound blessing you have ever received.

7. It is possible to survive pain. Although it may not seem likely in the most challenging of moments, you will not only live through the heartache but arrive proudly on the other side of it. Keep going. Your story will continue on, deeply desired to be written.