Red Table Talk

Which Celeb Scandal You Should Obsess Over, Based On Your Zodiac Sign

Aries: Doja Cat ‘hates’ her fans

Aries, you might be able to see yourself in the Doja Cat drama that went a little overboard in September of 2023. The internet went crazy when Doja Cat ‘confessed’ on Twitter that she doesn’t love her fans because she doesn’t know them. This resulted in many self-proclaimed Doja Cat stans recalling their own fan status, although Doja later addressed the statement and said she never meant to start any controversy. The hit pop singer explained that the ‘hate’ towards her fans was part of her humor. Much like Doja impulsively hit ‘send’ on many of her fan-directed tweets without thinking too much about it, you’re also an impatient and impulsive person. You’re naturally competitive and have a great work ethic (just like Doja Cat herself) but if you ever make it to the top, you might want to invest in a good PR team.

Taurus: The Idol pop show flops

There was a lot of hype around hit show The Idol last year, especially leading up to its release. But the idea of the show and its execution were extremely different, and everyone involved found themselves in hot water after its release. Social media loved making fun of it (and pointing out more serious flaws in its plot), and The Idol never managed to recover despite its star-studded cast. You’re a lover of all things cozy, Taurus, and whether or not you ended up curling up on the couch to actually watch The Idol or just enjoyed hate-scrolling through bad reviews online, the drama around this show literally never ends, giving you plenty of content to work with.

Gemini: Sophie Turner + Joe Jonas divorce

Joe Jonas filed for divorce from Sophie Turner in September of 2023, and if that wasn’t enough of a scandal for you, there wee plenty of allegations that the Jonas Brothers member cheated on Turner during their marriage. You’re a social creature, Gemini, and you probably enjoyed chatting with literally everyone you knew about the latest updates on this scandal. Was your favorite part when Sophie Turner showed up to hang out with Taylor Swift after the split? Because it was probably the internet’s – and if that’s not a little bit of juicy, guilt-free gossip for you to enjoy with all of your enormous social circles, Gemini, we don’t know what is. 

Cancer: Ariana Grande and Ethan Slater cheating rumors

Cancer, you’re a sentimental and very family-oriented sign. The Ariana Grande and Ethan Slater cheating scandal might have rocked you to your core – especially when the rumors first came out that the new couple might have cheated on their significant others with each other. There’s no definitive answer for this (although cast members from Wicked! certainly claim cheating did occur), but the Internet was scandalized regardless by the fact that Slater divorced his wife (with his one-year-old son), who later claimed that she had no idea Slater and Grande were even dating and felt completely blindsided by the entire divorce. Sweet, sensitive Cancer, this is some drama that’s almost too much for you to even enjoy reading up on – but you’ll definitely think it’s the juiciest scandal of 2023. 

Leo: The ‘Scandoval’ showdown

Leo, of course you’re the ‘Scandoval’ drama of 2023. Your sign is known for loving the spotlight, and this drama had so much spotlight on it that Tom Sandoval literally went into hiding after the news of his major cheating scandal was released. You were probably reveling in the intrigue around Tom Sandoval’s relationship (and cheating) timeline – you’re a big fan of drama, so the end of Tom Sandoval and Ariana Madix’s nine-year relationship combined with the cheating that was actively exposed over nearly a year. From the in-depth details on how Madix uncovered the elaborate affair to fan-made Instagram analyses (and, of course, all of the detailed timelines), there’s plenty for you to enjoy soaking up in regards to one of the biggest scandals of 2023. It even has its own nail polish named after it!

Virgo: Rachel Zegler infuriates Twitter

The internet was in a frenzy when actor Rachel Zegler started bashing on Snow White, the character she plays in Disney’s live-action remake. Virgo, you might not be into celebrity drama all that much, but you can definitely be highly critical of your own work alongside that of others – so, were you on Zegler’s side or not? The actress was under fire from the internet for saying that she was scared of Snow White as a kid, but mostly for her criticism of the original love story in Snow White. Fans of Disney’s original classic felt shamed by the actor for their own enjoyment of the original film and also worried that Zegler would change the entire plot of the new movie. All in all, this drama kind of came out of nowhere and ended quietly, but it was definitely cause for one of Disney’s biggest dramas of the year. 

Libra: Taylor Swift and Joe Alwyn break up

Okay Libra, you’re a Swifty, aren’t you? Either way, you were probably fixated on April 2023’s biggest drama of all: Taylor Swift and Joe Alwyn ending their six-year relationship for good. As a Libra, you love balance and romance, so this celebrity scandal might seem particularly scandalous to you – especially if you’ve spent hours analyzing Joe and Taylor’s relationship, much like many Swift fans did. Maybe you even predicted the breakup coming and sadly accepted some bet money when it was officially announced. Either way, your investment in personal relationships and your natural goal of avoiding conflict makes this (generally amicable) breakup a mix of devastating, scandalous, and oddly bittersweet for you.

Scorpio: Shakira curses her ex-mother-in-law with a witch 

Shakira used a witch decoration on her upper balcony to place a curse her ex-mother-in-law after her ex-husband, Gerard Pique, cheated on her. Scorpio, you love anything that’s related to magic and mystery (be honest, would you place a curse on an ex who wronged you?). You might think that the cheating itself was the biggest scandal for Shakira this year, but the follow-up is much more interesting (and not just because we got a brand-new single straight from the pop singer herself). Not only is she frightening her ex-mother-in-law by placing a Halloween witch statue on her balcony in a way that her ex-MIL can’t help but look at every day, but Pique himself has been experiencing some problems ever since the breakup. Pique has lost out on a major deal with the tennis Davis Cup, lost tens of millions of dollars at his own company, had to watch his ex-teammate give Shakira an award for Best Pop Song at the Latin Grammys, and even fell down a hole onstage at a tournament. 

Sagittarius: Gwenyth Paltrow’s ill-fated skiing accident 

Sagittarius, if you weren’t invested in the weird Gwenyth Paltrow skiing crash that happened in April of 2023, you should probably take a good look into the case. The controversial Goop founder was sued by another skier for slamming into them on the mountains in Utah – and she was even questioned in court as to what kinds of gifts she sent Taylor Swift for Christmas? You’re a nature-loving person, so you’re likely to be familiar with the kind of drama that outdoor sports can bring. But you might also find yourself really interested in cozying up inside to read all about the juicy court case Paltrow saw herself faced with in 2023. And yes, Sagittarius, you can enjoy this drama guilt-free, because everyone involved ended up being just fine.

Capricorn: Lizzo’s backup dancer drama

Everyone was paying attention to when a few of Lizzo’s backup dancer accused her of inappropriate behavior at a group clubbing outing in Amsterdam – maybe even you, work-focused Capricorn. One dancer also claimed that Lizzo even fired her due to a health condition. The case blew up mostly because Lizzo’s sparkling public image was marred by her backup group, with many accusations of unprofessional behavior, assault, and body-shaming thrown from Lizzo’s dancers to the singer herself. The dancers sued LIzzo, and although the singer is requesting to have the case dismissed, there’s been no decision yet. This type of scandal is simultaneously your worst nightmare and something you might be conflictedly interested in reading more about – Capricorn, you’re a disciplined and focused individual who places a lot of emphasis on your own career. The thought of this scandal breaking probably stresses you out and brings you relief that you’re not involved – you can intrigue yourself with corporate accusations from afar. 

Aquarius: Jada Smith publicly denounces her marriage

Aquarius, your unconventional nature matches you up to the most awkward drama of 2023. In October of 2023, Jada Smith decided to use the world-wide-web as her confessional and drop the biggest celebrity secret of her career: she and Will Smith had apparently been separated behind the scenes for a full seven years! Whether or not this was true, no one really knows, but as most people commented after the drama – nothing about their relationship is even surprising anymore. Now, that’s an enormous tidbit of drama that even a chill and introverted Aquarius might be able to appreciate. We’re not saying this is something you’d do, Aquarius, but you might at least be able to enjoy watching the flaming mess of Jada and Will Smith’s…relationship? 

Pisces: TikTok goes crazy over Paul Mescal, Phoebe Bridgers, and Daisy Edgar-Jones

Pisces, you’re being placed with the in-depth TikTok analysis of a series of photos and videos taken of Paul Mescal at the Met Gala. You’re an artistic soul (let’s face it, you probably love anything remotely Met-Gala-related), and you’re also likely to be an empath, so you have a good read on other people. This might mean you invest yourself a little too much into the lives of your favorite celebrities – like the entirety of TikTok did after a few videos of Paul Mescal, Phoebe Bridgers, and Daisy Edgar-Jones at the 2022 Met Gala resurfaced. The drama truly started around September of 2023, when hundreds of trending videos flooded everyone’s for you page questioning why Paul Mescal appeared to be looking at New People costar Daisy Edgar-Jones during a photo with Bridgers, his arm placement around the two other stars’ waists during a Met Gala video, and Edgar-Jones’ facial expression during a solo photo near Bridgers and Mescal. The drama was truly made out of absolutely nothing, and each over-analysis is practically its own work of art – just like your creative overthinking, Pisces.