Why You’re Struggling In Relationships, Based On Your Birth Order

First Born

You are used to being in charge, and rarely get told what to do by other people. You’re used to doing what you want, when you want, exactly how you want to do it. You’re bold and unapologetic in going after things, no matter how much that might effect people or rock the boat. While in your professional and social life this can be a great advantage, in relationships it can be a huge problem.

For a relationship to be successful, there HAS to be compromise. Even though you’re used to being the boss, you can’t expect that in a partnership you’re the only one with a say. If you’re constantly trying to control your relationship and, subsequently, the other person, eventually you’ll not only lose that control, you’ll lose them.

Somewhere In The Middle

In growing up in the middle, you’ve learned to keep the peace. While your older sibling(s) and younger sibling(s) don’t balk at confrontation, you would rather stay far, far away from it. It’s just not your forte, or something that you feel comfortable dealing with. You’d rather just wait for something to blow over, and then continue living your life with no drama, and no unpleasantry.

While to a certain extent, this makes you incredibly lovable and easy to get along with, it can also be your fatal flaw. You’re prone to ghosting on situations and people that make you feel uncomfortable, and rather than expressing how you actually feel, you’ll resort to bottling it up in favor of keeping the peace. This leads to even BIGGER fights, where everything explodes all at once, and a tendency towards passive-aggression on your part. You need to learn how to disagree, and be okay with things not being smooth sailing all the time.


You’re used to getting what you want, and being able to talk your way out of anything. If you want to do something, go somewhere, have something, get something…you just do it. You can err of the side of impulsivity and selfishness, and while that’s totally fine when you’re single, it’s incredibly unfair when you’re in a relationship.

Relationships, especially truly successful relationships, are a partnership. One person’s needs and wants don’t outweigh the other’s. And playing games, manipulating situations, or just behaving childishly to get your way will always end up actually hurting you, your reputation, and ultimately your relationships (romantic and otherwise) in the long run.


Twins are born with the incredibly unique experience of being bonded to another person literally since before they were on this Earth. Not only does this create a connection unlike any other that is basically impossible to replicate, but it also creates a competition between two people from day one. Whether you’re the more dominant twin, or the more quiet twin, it doesn’t matter. Your relationship with you twin is one, and every other relationship is its own.

You have to remember that no one is trying to compete with you, and also, no one can read your mind. You cannot compare your external relationships with the relationship you have with your twin. It’s unfair, unrealistic, and will (ultimately) be unsuccessful.

Only Child

Only children tend to grow up more quickly than other children, be a bit more “spoiled” than others, form closer more equal bonds with their parent, and because of this can feel superior to other people. Sometimes this superior feeling is more “high and mighty” and sometimes, it’s just an unshakeable special snowflake quality that makes them behave in an unapologetic way that’s more obnoxious than admirable. As an only child, you can have a very “me me me” way of looking at the world, and frankly, you need to get over it.

If you want to be in a relationship that works, you need to remember to look outside of yourself. Much like youngest children, you can be selfish, and that won’t build a relationship that lasts. Put yourself to the side and consider your partner, remember they’re just as special (an important) as you, and that’s when you’ll be able to be in a healthy, functioning relationship.