Are you getting in your own way when it comes to your relationship? You may be so far in your own anxiety-ridden head that you aren’t aware of what your relationship is really like. Rather than finding out how your partner feels with a relationship check-in, you’re fretting over what it could be. Does this sound like you?
You assume how they feel rather than talking about it.
The biggest culprit of overthinking a relationship is filling your mind with all sorts of assumptions. You assume how they feel about you. You assume they know what you want. You assume that you’re on the same page, or that you’re definitely not on the same page. You’re spending so much energy on “what if” that you have no idea what’s actually real.
The lines of communications aren’t as open as they should be.
One of the main reasons why you might be assuming things is because communication is lacking. Stop overthinking and just start asking. Any anxiousness you might be feeling could be solved by asking your partner how they feel. And if you don’t feel comfortable doing that, that’s a whole problem in itself.
You’re stuck on the idea of them, and not who they really are.
You have a beautiful, detailed imagination, but is what you’re dreaming up based in real life, or just a fantasy? Are they as romantic as you make them out to be? Are they as thoughtful or devoted? Take a few days away to think about anything other than this relationship, then come back with fresh eyes and an open mind. Maybe you’ll start to see this for what it really is.
You haven’t defined the relationship yet.
It’s easy to sit there and overthink every interaction when you haven’t had the DTR conversation. You’re currently living in this nebulous state, the Schrödinger’s Cat of relationships. You won’t know what you are to each other until you ask. Stop overthinking it and just have the conversation. The sooner, the better.
You don’t feel comfortable.
Overthinking is usually caused by anxiety and instability. If you were feeling comfortable with this relationship, you’d be living in the moment–you wouldn’t be so deeply lost in your own thoughts. Examine why you’re feeling discomfort. Maybe deep down you know your partner isn’t the right one for you or isn’t as invested in the relationship as you are. Or maybe it’s you who isn’t invested? Until you feel comfortable, you’ll continue to overthink everything.