Jakob Wandel

Zodiacs Ranked From Type A Planners To Consummate Improvisors

GEMINI

Gemini is the type that lays out their outfit the night before they wear it. They are the meal planners. The people who use those perfect little packing cubes. They want to know what time you’re going to meet up for plans two weeks from now. They want to know what kind of cake you want for your birthday months in advance. Nothing, however great or small, can be left to chance.

VIRGO

Virgo wants to seduce you with their planning. They will take your mess of a life and whip it into shape, like when Kim Kardashian was building custom closets for the stars. They will find a place for everything, and put everything in it’s place. Your finances, your health, your hair, your mental wellbeing will improve so much you’ll feel like you can never go back to living without them.

SCORPIO

Scorpio is a grand master in the chess game of life. Their ability to recognize patterns allows them to lay traps, develop complex counterattacks, and strategically plot their way to victory. While their grace may appear to be a stroke of genius or spontaneity, it’s all well memorized algorithm. 

CAPRICORN

Capricorn has their sights set on the big time. The big desk with the big title at the big company, and getting there involves many, many small steps. Good thing for Capricorn they’ve been laying them all out and checking them off of a list since they were still in school. If they just stick to the schedule, they’re convinced there’s nothing they can’t accomplish.

AQUARIUS

Aquarius is practical. When there is something they want to change in their lives or the world, they lay out a plan. They decide which resources will help them achieve their goal, develop a regimen, and set out on the mission of implementing that change. They may tweak in real time, but they never set out without a clear concept in mind.

CANCER

Cancer has prepared for the worst. They are the ones who pack snacks, who always has a back up for everything. They know life is as unpredictable as the weather, but they overcompensate by being ready for any scenario. It takes a lot of work, and energy, but to them it’s better than being caught by surprise.

LIBRA

Libra is the group participant. They don’t need to run the show, and will do their part, but are open to input from everyone else involved. They can contribute in the moment and riff off of other’s ideas. They come to the table without making any decisions of their own so that everyone can truly collaborate.

ARIES

Aries is like a general responding to the action on a battlefield. Most of what they do in life is a reaction to something occurring around them. They don’t plan too far ahead because they are acutely aware of all the different outside factors that contribute to their daily reality. They know it’s not a one man or woman show.

LEO

Leo goes with the flow. They are down to follow everyone else’s whim, or see where the day takes them. They are always leaving their options open, sometimes out of a selfish desire to make sure they end up at the best party or with the best option. Committing to anything too soon only limits their choices down the road.

TAURUS

Taurus is the impulse shopper. They are always waiting to see the shiny new thing in the window and swipe their card on a whim. They have the “I want it, I got it” mentality, and are always chasing the temporary high of self gratification. If they plan too far ahead, they won’t be able to do whatever they want whenever they want it.

PISCES

Pisces is like a clairvoyant staring into a cup of tea leaves. They are always waiting to be shown a way forward, never carving out a path for themselves. They think the universe is going to show them whatever they need to see or do, and they will be intuitive enough to respond to the signs on the fly.

SAGITTARIUS

Sagittarius is the one who took a few improv classes and now uses it as an excuse to be the ultimate procrastinator. They’ll write their best man or woman speech a few minutes before the reception. Finish projects minutes before their deadline, and never really worry about where they’re headed in life as long as they’re happy with where they are now in this very moment. All they need is someone to “yes, and” them and laugh at their jokes.