I Don’t Understand ‘Dating’ In 2023 At All

I don’t understand “dating” in 2023. Because nothing about it feels very modern or much like dating at all.

Just think about it. We treat each other like shit. We leave the people we supposedly like on read for hours at a time in order to get the upper hand. We never want to seem like we like them too much, even if we’ve had our reply drafted in the notes app since we received their message.

In 2023, we’re too afraid to show we care, to say something as simple as “I really like you” because we’re certain that would scare them off and make us seem clingy or crazy.

So we don’t. Instead, we agree to “go with the flow” and “see where it goes.” We spend the night but leave in the morning without saying goodbye. We talk all day but don’t say much of anything that resembles the truth about what we want or what we’re feeling.

Every move we make is done as a means of self-protection but somehow we still think this will create a sincere connection. We behave as if relationships are something that don’t take intention, effort, and a little bit of good timing.

Dating in 2023 is basically the equivalent of planting a ton of flower seeds in your backyard in the dead of winter and still expecting a glorious garden to bloom. We claim we want love, but we aren’t willing to time it right and then nurture it enough to have it actually grow. And then for some reason we wonder why we get stuck with people who only give us the bare minimum or in endless situationships.

The worst part is that we claim to hate the game. And yet, we continue to play it. We swipe, swipe, swipe. We delay responses. We say we’re cool with keeping it casual when we’re not. We settle for breadcrumbs even though we’re starving.

We all abide by these unspoken rules that only we are enforcing. I don’t understand why we continue to “date” in this way when it’s clearly making us all miserable.