3 Things You Should Do During The Talking Stage

The talking stage is an undefined phase in a relationship in which no labels have been set but there is definite romantic intrigue. Think lots of flirting, mostly through texting, FaceTimes, and phone calls.

People in a talking stage will also see one another in person, usually in the form of “hangouts” that are really dates without actually being called dates but are definitely date-like and flirtatious and they might even hook up. But if you ask either party what they are in regards to one another, they will most likely say something along the lines of, “We’re just talking.”

Feeling confused and stressed yet? Great! Then you understand what a talking stage is.

If you’re in the midst of a talking stage, all of this ambiguity makes it incredibly difficult to navigate. However, there are a number of things you should definitely do during a talking stage in order to preserve your sanity, save yourself time, and approach the situation in the most healthy manner you can.

Here are three things you should do during the talking stage.

1. Manage your expectations.

Managing your expectations during the talking stage refers to both managing expectations about who the other person is as well as who they are to you.

This means taking in who they actually are, not who you think they could be one day. In other words, don’t bank on their “potential” because more often than not, this is an idea that fails to see itself through. Instead, observe their actions at face value. Listen to what they’re actually saying. Get to know them, their values, and their heart, and figure out if they are someone you actually could see yourself with.

Managing your expectations during the talking stage also means remembering that you are not committed to this individual yet (nor are they committed to you). While there is potential for the talking stage to progress to an actual relationship, it is still a very early stage in the dating process and should be treated as such. Don’t put all your eggs in one basket and don’t act like a significant other to them because you’re not.

2. Set healthy boundaries with your phone.

Since a lot of the talking stage occurs on your phone, you need to make sure you’re still present in your life and not constantly checking your texts to see if they hit you up. Do not drop everything to reply to their messages immediately whenever your receive one.

Instead, respond when you’re able to truly give the response your full attention so you can say what you actually want to say (not what you can craft together quickly with your friends over happy hour drinks and later regret).

3. Be communicative.

Now, you may be thinking, It’s literally calling the talking stage, isn’t that literally what it means to communicate? Not necessarily! To paraphrase Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind, to constantly talk doesn’t mean you’re truly communicating. Because you can talk for weeks on end but none of those words mean shit if they weren’t authentic.

Be honest about who you are and what you are looking for. Don’t settle for less than what you want because you think that’s what you have to do in order to find a relationship. While doing this can absolutely find you a partner, it won’t find you the right one.