This Is What Commitment Really Is (Because It’s Not Just Being Exclusive)

Commitment is way more than just staying faithful to one person. Commitment is more than calling someone your partner. Commitment is more than changing your relationship status on Facebook. Commitment is more than occasionally sharing date night pics to your Instagram Story. Commitment is more than getting engaged, planning a wedding, throwing a reception, and going on a week-long honeymoon.

Commitment is seeing the future in your person’s eyes. Commitment is feeling at home in their arms. Commitment is designing a life that can only work if they’re part of it. Commitment is an investment, a gamble, and an act of hope.

Commitment is understanding that partnership isn’t always easy or convenient. Commitment sometimes means putting them first instead of yourself. Commitment is about seeing things from their point of view. Commitment is giving your best even when you’re at your worst.

Commitment is who the two of you are when the doors are closed and aren’t putting on a show to convince others you have the “perfect” relationship. Commitment is not wanting the perfect relationship because that means you two wouldn’t be together. Commitment is navigating the fights and the disagreements with as much grace and compassion as you can humanly muster.

Commitment is when you stay when things get really fucking hard. Commitment is knowing things will get really fucking hard from time to time. Commitment is when you’re sick and tired from work and the baby is screaming at 2 AM and all you want to do is lay down alone. Commitment is turning to your person and saying, “I can’t do this on my own.” Commitment is your partner replying with, “You don’t have to.”

Commitment is about embracing the chaos, messiness, and pain that come with being alive and human. Love is about walking through the storms together.

Commitment is taking your partner as they actually are, not as who you wish they could be. This includes their darkness, their quirks, and their bad habits. Commitment is loving the hell out of them anyway. Commitment is saying, “I see you, I love you, and I want to be with you.” Commitment is living up to your word.