Which Tim Burton Character Are You Based on Your Zodiac
Aries – Jack Skellington from Nightmare Before Christmas
Aries, you got Jack Skellington because you’re the type of sign that would appropriate Christmas. As the leader of the zodiacs, Aries you would definitely kidnap the leader of a sovereign nation, steal their resources, completely tank their GDP by disrupting the one day of the year they can make a profit, realize you have no idea what you’re doing, then return the leader back over to his people, and be like “Lol, I’m sorry”. Doing so not only ruined that Christmas, but no doubt had a ripple effect thus ruining several Christmas’s after. The Christmas Town economy would take years to recover. Santa Claus probably had to lay off several hundred elves, thus costing his own people their livelihood because their main export is toys. Not to mention the fact that Jack managed to traumatize millions of children across the globe. Let us not forget that Jack also irresponsibly handed Santa Clause over to three delinquent motherless children who then allowed him to be tortured by what was essentially an evil entity personified by tens of thousands of bugs collectively coming together as a single unified sentient being named “Oogie Boogie”. No debate Aries, you’re Jack Skellington.
Taurus – Charlie from Charlie and The Chocolate Factory
Like Charlie, you care deeply for your family and feel responsible for their well-being. When fortune strikes and Charlie is one of five “lucky” children granted the opportunity to visit the Willy Wonka chocolate factory, he sees it as more of an opportunity to support his impoverished family. A family that is so impoverished that they quite literally can only afford to eat cabbage soup every night. Government intervention doesn’t exist in this world, only chocolate factories that employ tiny little migrant workers (exploiting them for cheap labor one could only imagine) and tortures innocent young children because they need to “learn a lesson”. So like Charlie, Taurus you probably would take it upon yourself to embark on a journey with your grandfather who faked being a paraplegic. Type 2 diabetes will be the least of your concerns.
Gemini – The Mayor from Nightmare Before Christmas
Gemini, you getting The Mayor of Halloween Town from “Nightmare Before Christmas” was the only right answer. True to Gemini nature, The Mayor is quite literally two-faced. His face flips around depending on his mood showing two completely opposite sides of his character; benevolent or neurotic. This choice in characterization is probably a satirization of politician’s two-faced nature (which is a career many Geminis succeed well in). And like the sign of the twins, The Mayor is all talk but really holds no power besides that. At some point in the film, he even says “I’m only an elected official here! I can’t make decisions by myself!”
Cancer – Pee-Wee Herman from Pee-Wee’s Big Adventure
Though the character Pee-Wee Herman was an existing IP before his big screen debut, the film was directed by Tim Burton therefore I think it’s fair that I include him on this list. Pee-Wee Herman was the only logical choice for Cancer. Cancer is represented by The Chariot tarot card. As the story of the major arcana goes, The Charioteer embarks on a life-changing journey on a quest for knowledge, resources, and truth. Along the way, The Charioteer will learn many lessons and make several new friends before returning back home to their family and loved ones as a changed person. Similar to the story of The Chariot, Pee-Wee embarks on a perilous journey across America to retrieve his stolen bike. During his big adventure, Pee-Wee overcomes obstacle after obstacle and makes several friends along the way. You cannot tell me that most Cancers would not do this. Cancer, only you would be this emotionally attached to an inanimate object and go so far as to risk your life to retrieve it.
Leo – Joyce Monroe from Edward Scissorhands
Oh, you thought I was going to say Beetlejuice huh, Leo, like all the other Tim Burton Character Zodiac listicles. No babe, you’re Joyce from “Edward Scissorhands”. Joyce Monroe craves excitement, is incredibly social, charismatic, and loves to be the center of attention. She’s friendly in person but loves to talk shit and she’s so real for that. She’ll intentionally stir drama if things don’t go her way. She’s convinced that everyone’s obsessed with her but after Edward rejects her, she saves her ego by ruining his reputation. I’m not hating on Joyce, I respect her game.
Virgo – Edward Scissorhands from Edward Scissorhands
At first, I was unsure as to whether or not Edward Scissorhands was the best fit for Virgo, but after careful consideration, I realized that this was perfect. Virgos are interpreted as “Virgins”, meaning that they are married to themselves. Virgo, you tend to only give yourself to others when you feel that it is necessary and that it is coming from a good place. You serve your community and your people not because they made them, but because you wanted to. And like Virgo’s tarot card, The Hermit, you walk through life alone. You are independent and value peaceful isolation from time to time as it allows you to think and reflect, unswayed and uninterrupted by the thoughts and opinions of others. With that said, you’re definitely Edward Scissorhands, Virgo; awkward, weird, and a mumbler. Edward spent the majority of his life alone in an abandoned castle and brought beauty to his community by creating art out of bland shapeless hedges and exquisite ice sculptures because he wanted to. He even absolved the women of their crimes against fashion by fixing their terrible Karen haircuts. Edward serves the people he cares about. But with all that said, the number one reason you’re Edward Scissorhands Virgo is because Edward is definitely a virgin. Literally and figuratively. Edward Scissorhands is absolutely a virgin and will probably remain one so long as he lives.
Libra – Sally from Nightmare Before Christmas
Sally is kind, honest, balanced, genuine, and can find beauty in anyone or anything, thus she is a perfect fit for you, Libra. Libra, you are the sign of fairness and balance, as represented by the Justice tarot card. Though Sally desires Jack Skellington, she doesn’t allow her feelings for him to blind her better judgment. She is also incredibly clever and inconspicuous. She and Jack are the perfect couple because she lets Jack think he wears the pants in the relationship when beneath the surface, Sally is calling the shots. I respect a covert woman in charge. At the beginning of the movie, she longs for freedom and independence but is held back by her adopted father Doctor Finkelstein. At some point, she poisons him which some may find to be nefarious but I think you would definitely poison your caregiver if it meant you could have the chance to spy on your crush from the bushes, Libra. Nothing weird about that. God forbid a woman have hobbies. What else is she supposed to do besides stalk her crush and spontaneously break into song?
Scorpio – Lydia Deetz from Beetlejuice
Like Lydia Deetz, you are both “strange and unusual”, Scorpio. You probably talk to ghosts when you’re bored because you have to be strange and unusual to accept the supernatural. Scorpio, you are connected to the Death tarot card meaning you tend to peel back the layers of your own ego, embracing whatever version of yourself you choose to be. Like Lydia Deetz, you are unafraid of death and are usually quite fascinated with the idea of it because, to you, death is not an end but merely the beginning of a new cycle. According to Astrology, Scorpios coined the phrase “It’s not just a phase, mom!” And lord have mercy were they right because here we are in 2024 and Lydia has not changed one bit. She remains the undisputed Queen of The Recently Deceased. God bless her. Long live the goth girl, may it never be a phase.
Sagittarius – Emily from Corpse Bride
Emily is a talented pianist and a sweet kind-hearted soul, who is easy-going and cares deeply for others. She’s incredibly nostalgic and attaches a lot of meaning to the world. Much like you Sagittarius, she has the heart of an artist and finds beauty even in life after death. But what I think truly defines her as a Sagittarius is the fact that she is delusional yet self-aware of the fact that she’s delusional which I respect. She falls in love with Victor; a living, breathing, bleeding, man who is literally engaged to another woman yet Emily is still determined to be with him. Like, babe, you’re dead. You’re a rotting corpse… How was this relationship ever supposed to work? If that doesn’t scream delusional, I don’t know what does. But in her defense, the timing just wasn’t right, to say the least. With that said, it would take a Sagittarius to romanticize the idea of being with a man at this level of emotional unavailability.
Capricorn – Betelgeuse from Beetlejuice
Betelgeuse stands as one of pop culture’s most misunderstood characters which is something that I feel he and you have in common, Capricorn. Betelgeuse stands on business and like the rest of us, is just trying to make a living. At the end of the day, he is an entrepreneur who is willing to take financial risks to better his business. If you make a deal with Betelgeuse and feel as if you’ve been shanghaied, then you have nobody to blame but yourself. You should’ve read the Handbook for the Recently Deceased more closely, I don’t know what to tell you. Capricorn, your sign is associated with the Devil tarot card which represents the pleasures and pains of our existence. Betelgeuse loves to indulge in such pleasures and considering the fact that he’s already dead, he sees no issue in indulging in such vices. Like you Capricorn, Betelgeuse has a dark sense of humor and a quick tongue so he knows exactly what to say to persuade potential clients. The devil works hard, but Capricorn and Betelgeuse work harder.
Aquarius – Alice from Alice in Wonderland
Aquarius, you are a pioneering spirit and an unconventional free-thinking individual who marches to the beat of your own drum. Similarly, Alice is curious and imaginative. She refuses to conform to societal expectations and questions the status quo. In Tim Burton’s adaptation of Alice in Wonderland, Alice runs away after finding out she will be proposed to by the male equivalent of unsalted french fries. Much like Alice, you are hard to tie down. You value your freedom and the adventure that comes with it. Any normal person would question their sanity if they spotted a put-together white rabbit yapping about being late, but not you Sag. You would follow that little white rabbit to the ends of the earth and to the bottom of a hole if it meant not having to get engaged to the male equivalent of steamed carrots. Whilst following this well-dressed white rabbit, at no point would you think to yourself “This is odd, right?” And following this line of reasoning, one could only assume that you would probably underestimate the power of gravity thus causing you to stumble down into a rabbit hole. Like Alice, if you found yourself in a fantastical otherworldly place called “Wonderland” where nothing makes sense, at no point would you question the absurdity of things. You would just accept it and go with the flow because quite literally anything would be better to you than marrying the male equivalent of low-fat vanilla ice cream.
Pisces – Kim from Edward Scissorhands
Pisces you are Kim. Represented by The Moon tarot card, by nature, Pisces are intuitive contemplative, sensitive, and quite psychic at times whether they realize it or not. Kim is a precocious young woman who fights to protect Edward and who selflessly makes the ultimate sacrifice of letting her love go forever for the sake of his own safety. Pisces, you are more likely to fall in love based on a person’s heart and for who they are as opposed to rejecting someone for “shallow” external reasons such as having scissors for hands. Only a Pisces would fall in love with a man with literal hands for scissors. Any other reasonable person would find this idea absurd… not you, Pisces. Within the context of real life, Pisces you are the kind of sign to fall in love with a medium ugly tall skinny pale guy who eats cigarettes for lunch because he’s “sensitive”. That’s your type and god bless you for it. To you Pisces, there is nothing unreasonable about the idea of dropping your maiden name for Scissorhands. Kim Scissorhands, dare I say. Ah yes, quite reasonable.