Zodiacs Ranked By How Well They Handle Their Drinking On Wild Holiday Weekends

Updated 3 years ago, June 30 2023
Zodiac

1. Leo

Leos are the responsible friend. The friend who will tell you to drink more water so you’re not hungover in the morning. The friend who will walk you to the bathroom when you puke. The friend who will make sure that you get home safely — or will let you crash at their place for the night. They never go too crazy with their own drinking, because they’re busy being the mother/father of the group.

2. Scorpio

This sign will want to stay out all night long. They won’t want the fun to ever end. They’re the last person to go home for the evening. The person who complains about how all of their friends are leaving that early. Sure, they drink a lot, but they can handle it well. They know what they’re doing by now. This isn’t their first rodeo.

3. Capricorn

This sign is pretty reasonable, even when they are falling over drunk. Instead of going out and partying, they would rather sit around the house with a close group of friends and order a pizza. Talk about their lives. Maybe play some video games or board games. Their ‘crazy’ nights are actually pretty tame.

4. Taurus

When a Taurus gets drunk, they are more outgoing. More sociable. They feel on top of the world, because they finally feel like they fit in. Like they are able to make people laugh. They might embarrass themselves, but they won’t even realize it, because they are having such a good time. Because, for the first time in forever, they didn’t spend the entire night overanalyzing.

5. Pisces

They are friendly when they are sober — but when they are drunk, they make friends with everyone. They will compliment the girl in front of them on the bathroom line. They will start dancing with complete strangers and jump into conversations that didn’t originally involve them. They can get a little annoying at times, but they are harmless. They are just trying to have fun.

6. Gemini

Geminis can’t handle their alcohol all that well — but they would never admit that. If you ask them, they would say they are seasoned drinkers. Responsible drinkers. But in reality, they walk around swearing that they aren’t drunk (they aren’t even tipsy!) while everyone can see the way that they are swaying and slurring.

7. Aquarius

When this sign gets drunk, every little thing that has happened to them will come back to haunt them. They will get upset over things that happened years ago and things that happened earlier that morning. When they’re tipsy, they have fun. But when they’re really drunk, they get angry. They hate the world. They hate themselves.

8. Libra

This sign will go around, telling everyone how much they love them one second. And the next second, they will wander off alone. One second, they will be complaining about their asshole boss and minimum wage job. And the next second, they will waste all of their money on drinks for the whole bar. You never know what to expect when you get them drunk. Something different happens every time. And it’s not always a happy ending.

9. Aries

When a friend asks them to take a shot together, they will do it. When someone hands them a beer, they will drink it. And once they’re wasted, they will be up for anything. Beer pong? Karaoke? Skinny dipping? They will do it all, because their adventurous side isn’t being smothered by their common sense. And they won’t regret it until the morning, when they wake up to embarrassing texts and pictures they don’t have any memory of.

10. Sagittarius

When they are sober, this sign acts like they are completely fine, like nothing bothers them — but when they are drunk, they get lonely. That’s why they text their ex. They hit on their old almost relationships and one-night stands. They reach out to the people who belong in their past, the people who are toxic for them.

11. Cancer

Cancers usually have a good handle on their emotions — but that all changes as soon as they get a few drinks inside of them. They will either end up crying their eyes out in the bathroom during a party or will start a nasty argument with a friend who they’ve been holding back with when sober. The alcohol releases the overly emotional side of them.