10 No-Nonsense Tips For Getting Over Old Loves

“Whenever you’re breaking down and are about to send a desperate message or something, take a step back, hold your breath, count to 10 and ask someone randomly: ‘Hey, just checking out on you, is everything alright?’ Hearing about other people’s struggles and accomplishments can help you be more gentle with yourself, and also can strengthen the bonds between you and the people you care about. That one dude that always quiets down in the middle of the conversation? Talk to him. Your mother had a stressful day? Tell her you care. Take the bad thoughts and transform them into motivation to make someone else’s day better.” — Vegetable_Potato_829

“It helps to focus on the negatives in that person, no matter how small. If they did something that irritated or for just a split second made you think they may not be a great partner or parent or whatever. Even if that small thing is how they ended it or quickly moved on. Whatever it takes to see the negative and eventually you will realize it was probably for the best.” — magicman1315

“Stop talking to them, seeing them, stalking them, following their social media, etc.” — ThicccNhatHanh

“Go to therapy. Don’t be afraid of people saying ‘oh this person thinks they have problems just because of a relationship.’ You NEED help and shouldn’t be afraid of searching for it.” — Vegetable_Potato_829

“Do stuff you enjoy. Call your friends and go to party. Do whatever you like to do. Drown that brain in serotonin and dopamine, and you will be fine.” — Actual-Guard-825

“Finding a hobby that keeps you off your phone. Gym, sports, and dancing helps more than you can imagine. Socialize. Not on social media but in person. Go out, meet your friends, and have a vacation trip. There’s a high chance that you’ll meet someone soon who’d take your mind off that person. Try not to fall down the ‘what I could’ve done better to make them stay’ hole, instead, just know you did your best and if that wasn’t enough for that person, they don’t deserve to be with you. Prioritize yourself more than ever. Know your worth and invest your time in a way that’s fruitful. ‘Career revenge’ is soul soothing. I know it’s easier said than done, but if you can love someone, you can un-love too, especially when it’s the other person in the wrong. Your friends and family are there for you. Best of luck.” — Professor3000

“Heartbreak is like traversing a swamp. It sucks, it’s hard, it will be slow going, the trick is to keep going, one foot in front of the other. The longer you wallow the longer you are in the swamp. Work on yourself but also take it easy on yourself. It will get better.” — RonaldArroz

“Potential loss can feel devastating, but it’s important to remember potential is not the lived experience itself. You don’t need to be dismissive toward yourself about whatever lingering feelings you have of attachment, but also, they are feelings and the lived reality wouldn’t necessarily match what you want it to be, even if you could have it. Romance culture can get into our heads sometimes with the idea that we’re losing something once in a lifetime with a particular person and we have to cling onto it, but the process of reality is a lot more sobering. Opportunities come and go, and most of the lived experience is the process after taking them, not the opportunity itself. So, allow yourself to process the good and the bad of what it was, take what lessons you can, and be gentle with yourself; you might always have some attachment to this person because of the impressions they made on you, but it doesn’t mean you have to be with them or that you can’t ever love someone else more. Attachments form and deepen over time and if you only compare what it was like at its best to new people you meet, you aren’t being fair to yourself or them in expectations. Best case scenario in terms of intensity of feeling is you really hit it off with someone new you meet, but it still probably won’t feel the same because you haven’t had enough time to form longer term attachments with them yet. If you want a clearer idea, when you are meeting new people, I would say try to compare based on how you felt when you met this other person, not based on how you feel about them now.” — throwaway23495923

“Someone once told me that emotional scars are like markings on a tree, they never shrink, they’ll stay there forever, the only way to make them look less important is to grow around them.” — Revolutionary_Ad7162

“If they do not wish to be with you, then you need to realize that you deserve someone better than them. This will take time since if you truly love them, you just cannot turn that off like a switch. The key is TIME and it is going to take plenty of time. You need to give yourself what ever amount of time it takes.” — pogiguy2020