I’ve written before about the differences between what spiritual communities might call false twin flames and true twin flames. But what are the signs you may have actually met your “divine counterpart”? What would differentiate such a once-in-a-lifetime connection from a toxic partner pretending to be your perfect match, or even a regular “soulmate” type of relationship? Here are the three signs to look out for:
There’s a sense of coming home and the most important aspects of the relationship flow naturally.
There’s a widespread myth that twin flame relationships are deeply destructive and tumultuous – that they “have to be” in order to inspire true growth. In reality, if twin flames exist, they will be deeply attuned with one another and aligned with each other’s destinies, as well as their shared mission on this planet. They feel an irresistible magnetism toward each other, but it’s not because of addictive toxicity – it’s because of the healthy nourishment they both experience when they’re together long-term. They feel ecstatically fueled and energized when they are together and this is an ongoing, consistent connection – not a minefield of mind games. A true twin flame will cherish you even if they challenge you. They will feel called to protect you from harm, not cause you harm. You will feel comforted in the presence of a true twin flame, as if your soul has finally reached home after a long and arduous journey. Manipulators can wear a false mask for a short period of time to get you hooked on them, but their inconsistency will tip you off. Of course there can be immense healing when it comes to such a connection – you may have to go deep within to heal your wounds, traumas, and fears before fully immersing yourself in such a connection and being able to love one another deeply without becoming enmeshed with each other.
True twin flames look out for each other; they know how to stand on their own without abandoning their partner. The relationship doesn’t have to be absolutely perfect, but it will feel like perfection in that your partner will match your core values. This partnership will allow you to experience pure, euphoric love, mutual respect, and kindness. You will find yourself very compatible in remarkable ways while having enough interesting differences to learn from each other. Your communication will be nearly “telepathic” in a sense because you often know what the other is feeling and thinking and preemptively tend to each other’s emotions and needs.
The relationship allows you to cultivate your best and most fulfilled self, contributing to a greater mission in the world.
The twin flame phenomenon isn’t all about romance – often, it’s about a shared mission on this planet. You’ll find yourself joining together with your divine partner not just in healing yourself and each other but healing the world as a whole. Twin flames are the ultimate “power couple” in that where one is weak, the other is strong – so their combined gifts and talents are a strong force in the world that can create massive change and influence. Meanwhile, a false twin flame holds you back from your dreams and goals, isolating you, demeaning you, and undermining you so they don’t lose control of you. Many twin flames contribute to a greater goal and are stronger when they work together on this goal. For example, you may have a “twin flame” power couple who contributes to philanthropic causes or raises awareness on an important social issue using their combined resources. They inspire each other and work together with a shared vision and collective magnetism that may shock outsiders, being completely in sync with one another and offering results that are extraordinary. You can also work with “soulmates” on these goals, but the ultimate power couple “twin flame” pairing is said to achieve phenomenal heights because they are so compatible in how they think and behave. They share the same innate desire to change the world for the better in their own unique ways.
You have a deep respect and love for each other that goes beyond ego but has strong boundaries.
Forget about the “dark night of the soul” or the “runner-chaser” dynamic. If they’re a healthy divine counterpart, they’re going to exhibit a deep, grounded respect for you that will surpass any kind of toxic, inconsistent love you’ve experienced. The way you feel around a true twin flame is that you will feel assured of your own worthiness – not constantly questioning your worth. Their love will be spoken through their consistent actions and patterns long-term – the way they consider you in major and minor decisions, are thoughtful about how you might feel, and the ways they go out of their way to try to spark joy in you. Even if one or the other fears love, they will find a way to overcome these fears and work on their own healing before “reunion.” They will do the work to prepare themselves: this is what differentiates a true, healthy twin flame from a false one. They want to benefit one another. They strive to find solutions, not create more problems. They honor each other’s healthy boundaries while still considering each other’s emotions; this comes naturally to both of them. They are a mirror to each other’s personal growth and development – and to each other’s infinite potential. They want to learn from each other and to make each other happy, and they also know how to be happy on their own without “consuming” or excessively controlling the other. Twin flames go beyond love in the physical realm; they connect in sacred ways intellectually, spiritually, and emotionally. This can be a healthy, flourishing soul connection and is not to be confused with toxicity.