Some friendships are toxic. And some people who used to be good influences on each other grow apart over time. If you’re ending a friendship with someone and know it’s for the best, here are a few reminders to get you through the pain:
Just because they were good for you in the past doesn’t mean they’re good for you right now.
Even though you love them to pieces, they might not be what you need right now. You can love someone while understanding why it’s best to walk away. You can cherish the memories you have with them without wanting to build new ones in the future. You’re allowed to have conflicting, messy feelings. Your anger at them doesn’t cancel out the love. Both feelings can exist simultaneously.
There are so many other people in this world who love you.
This person isn’t the only friend you’re ever going to have. You’re going to get close to others. You’re going to develop inside jokes and corny nicknames with plenty of other people throughout your life. Even though it might break your heart that this person is no longer part of your world, their absence leaves space for so many new friendships to form. You’re not as alone as you might feel right now.
Goodbye for now doesn’t mean goodbye forever.
This person might change. You might change. Ten years down the line, you might find each other again. You might pick up right where you left off. But you can’t worry about the future or the past today. You need to worry about the moment you’re existing in right now. Ask yourself whether they’re good for you right now. If the answer is no, then you know you have to stay away. You know you’re doing what’s best for the both of you.
Your friendship still meant something.
Even though it’s over, that doesn’t mean that the moments you spent together in the past are meaningless. You still bonded. You still shared laughs. You still have amazing memories. You can look back at your good times and be thankful you experienced them. You don’t have to associate this person with pain. You can remember the good times, too.
Everyone makes mistakes.
It’s okay if you’ve done some things in your past that you’re not proud of. It’s okay if you cringe when you look back at some of the things you’ve said and done. The fact that you’re able to acknowledge your wrongdoings means that you have the opportunity to change. You can grow from this. You can demand more from yourself in the future. Screwing up doesn’t make you a bad person, just like it doesn’t make your friend a bad person. You’re not parting ways because you’re horrible people. You’re parting ways because you’re imperfect and are trying to grow, and you need to put yourself in the best possible environment for that to happen.
It’s never too late to make new friends.
Unfortunately, it’s common for certain friendships to end as you get older and move onto new things. You don’t want to cling onto the wrong friends because you think you’ll be lonely without them. Even though you might not have a huge group of friends right now, you can make more. It’s more difficult to make friends as an adult, but still, people do it every single day.