6 Signs That Chasing Them Is Hurting You

You don’t want to waste years of your life chasing after the wrong person. If they don’t see your worth from the start, they probably aren’t worth your energy. You should move on. Find someone else who is excited to start their future with you. If you’ve been chasing after someone for a while with no results, you should consider giving up on them, especially if you can relate to the experiences below:

You spend all your time thinking about them.

And the thoughts are overwhelmingly negative. You’re replaying your interactions, searching for a moment when you went wrong. You’re stalking their social media, tearing apart every single person they post a picture alongside, wondering if that’s the person who has replaced you. You’re annoyed with them and angry and upset that they aren’t yours. They aren’t bringing you butterflies anymore. They’re only bringing pain.

You’ve been questioning your worth.

You’re devastated that they aren’t interested in dating you. You can’t figure out why you aren’t enough for them. You’ve been working toward changing your appearance and personality—not because you want to change, but because you think it will make this person want you. You’re giving up your true self in order to potentially please them. You’re throwing all of your morals out the window because they’re the only one you want and you can’t picture living without them.

You’ve been turning down other opportunities.

You’ll turn down the chance to hang out with friends just in case this person texts you at the last second to hang out. You’ll turn down cute strangers who want to go on a date with you because you’re worried this other person will change their mind and decide to date you. You aren’t letting yourself live your life because you’re waiting for this person to come to their senses and whisk you away. You’re putting your life on hold for them, and you might not even get them.

You’re exhausting yourself trying to please them.

You come calling whenever they ask, even when it’s inconvenient for you. You drop everything for them. You run around, doing favors for them, even though you get nothing in return. You’re exhausting yourself, mentally and physically, in order to make them happy. And you’ve been doing this for a while. Maybe it’s been months or maybe it’s been years. But nothing is changing.

You can’t concentrate on anything other than them.

There’s more to life than love. You need to focus on your career, your friendships, your hobbies, your pets, your passions. You don’t want to neglect other areas of your life because you’re so focused on making this person yours. You don’t want to lose everything in order to get them.

You’re drinking more, sleeping less, and acting without thinking.

Relationships are supposed to bring you joy. So are crushes. If someone is making you miserable, if they’re hurting you so badly that you keep losing sleep and drinking until you pass out, then there’s a problem. You need to find someone who makes you happier, not more miserable. You need to stop chasing this person and accept that you don’t belong together. That’s the first step to finally moving on.