8 Things To Stop Focusing On When Searching For Your Soulmate

It’s easy to put too much emphasis on particular qualities while looking for someone to spend your life with. This makes enough sense; love is a commitment and you want to make sure you get it right. However, sometimes, being too laser-focused on certain things can actually make finding your person that much more difficult.

Here are eight things to stop focusing on when searching for your soulmate.

1. Your appearance.

The right person for you will love you for you, not for what you look like. While physical attraction is important, your soulmate will find you beautiful no matter what.

Stop letting insignificant factors such as how much you weigh or other physical attributes hold you back from putting yourself out there. And by the way? If someone did want you to be five pounds lighter or have a different hair color in order to date you, that’s definitely not someone you want to be with. Trust.

2. Needing to feel butterflies.

Often when determining if someone is the right fit for you, you look to see if you feel that magic “spark” when you first meet. You know, butterflies. And if you don’t feel that immediate connection upon meeting someone, you write them off as the wrong person and move on to the next.

Here’s the thing, though: feeling butterflies are not an accurate gauge of compatibility. In fact, those fluttery sensations you get are really more about lust than anything else. And besides, chemistry can build over time. Pay attention to other things such as their values, how they treat you and others, and how they make you feel about yourself instead.

3. Your “type.”

While it’s totally valid to have an idea about what kind of person you could see yourself falling in love with, only dating your “type” is a surefire way to make finding your soulmate harder. Also, if your type hasn’t worked out yet, there might be a reason why. Branch out.

4. Needing to like all of the same things.

While shared interests are definitely important, it is equally (and maybe even more) important to have separate passions outside of a relationship. Don’t get hung up on the fact that they love country music and you hate it. Embrace the differences.

5. Perfection.

You will never find a perfect partner. You will never be perfect either. And you will never have a perfect relationship. But if you’re lucky, you’ll still find an imperfect person still worth loving (and who loves you for your imperfections as well).

6. The red flags.

Now, let me be abundantly clear: Focusing less on the red flags does not mean ignoring blatant mistreatment, bad behavior, or outright signs of incompatibility. This is simply a reminder that the green flags matter just as much as the red flags.

Constantly being on the defense and hunting for bad signs could sabotage the chance of something great. For starters, you can always find something wrong if you look hard enough. Additionally, starting a romance with your walls up is not how trust is built.

7. The fact you could get your heart broken.

The unfortunate truth of falling in love is that there will always be a risk of heartbreak. Even if you get married or engaged or date long-term. Nothing is ever guaranteed; something could always happen between you both that tears you apart.

Soulmates can break your heart too. And relationships don’t always last. But that’s part of what makes love so beautiful in the first place; it’s an act of hope.

When you looking for your soulmate, stop focusing so much on trying to avoid hurt and turn your attention to taking a leap of faith with someone else instead.

8. The idea that there is only one soulmate for you.

You have many soulmates; we all do. Don’t put so much pressure on a person being “The One” and instead reframe them as “A One” instead. Once you realize this, finding your soulmate will be a lot less stressful and a lot more fun.