If You Don’t Have These 11 Things, Your Relationship Could Fall Apart

Relationships can be hard work – but they should also feel safe, comfortable, and fun. They should be a source of joy, not stress. If you don’t have any of these key elements in your relationship, then you might not have found the right person for you yet:

Trust. You need to trust that your partner has your best interest in mind, that they would never hurt you, that they want what’s best for you. If you start doubting their intentions and questioning their loyalty, then staying together might not be for the best.

Communication. You should feel comfortable talking to your partner about anything. There shouldn’t be any secrets between the two of you. You should be open books when it comes to your hopes, dreams, fears, and failures.

Honesty. You should be transparent with your partner about what you want from the relationship and from life as a whole. You shouldn’t lie and dodge topics to avoid hard conversations. You should talk important topics through, even if it’s a little awkward at first.

Respect. You’re going to have arguments over the course of your relationship – but that’s okay as long as you stay respectful. As long as you value each other’s opinions and keep fights fair. You should never be using your anger (or drunkenness) as an excuse to treat your partner poorly.

Quality time. It’s okay if you have busy lives, but you need to make time for each other, even if that means rearranging your schedule so you can eat breakfast together or hop on a phone call during lunch. You don’t have to spend every waking moment together, but you should play a big role in each other’s lives.

Humor. Your partner should be a source of fun and relaxation. They should make you laugh and cheer you up again when you’re in a sour mood. They should bring a smile to your face on your worst days. They can’t magically make everything better, but they can make the world a little more bearable.

Boundaries. Your partner should listen when you say no. They should give you space when you need it. They should respect your decisions and they should never try to peer pressure you into changing your mind.

Support. Your person should be your biggest supporter. They should encourage you to chase after your dreams, not hold you back from them. During the days when you feel insecure, they should give you pep talks to remind you that you can accomplish anything.

Shared visions. Your partner should have a similar vision for their future. They should want the same things you want out of your relationship. You should be on the same page, because you shouldn’t have to sacrifice everything you’ve ever wanted for love.

Compromise. You aren’t always going to agree, which is why you need someone willing to come to compromises. Someone who will meet you halfway instead of demanding to have their way all of the time. Someone who treats you as a real equal.

Accountability. Everyone makes mistakes – but you need a partner who is able to own up to them. Someone who will apologize when they’ve hurt your feelings instead of pretending they’re innocent. Someone mature enough to take responsibility for their own actions.