A Part Of Me Will Always Love You, But I Will Still Move On

Maybe we’ll always be there. In the corner seat of the diner. On that bench that overlooked the waterfront right outside of Detroit. In your room, on your bed, laughing and simply existing as we were. Because together we both felt free to do just that: be all of who we were. No hiding. No pretending. Just being.

At least, I’d like to think so. I’d really like to believe that some version of us gets the chance we never got and lives on in some alternate universe where those sharp words I said never stumbled out of my mouth. Where we didn’t hurt each other. Where everything didn’t get all kinds of messy and fucked up.

And in that dimension, I love you still. And maybe you even start to love me back.

But that’s not where we are.

But that part of me, that version of myself, will always love you. And you know what? I will still move on.

I will still move on even though there’s a place in space and time where I sit in a university library and realize everything I feel for you. I will still move on even though there’s that kiss, that New Year’s Eve, the night with the margaritas, that connection, and you accepting and taking me for all that I am.

I will still move on because there’s also a place in the future where there’s someone who will watch the night turn into the early morning with me and pull me close. I will still move on because there are more nights of whiskey to be had, more love to be shared, and more life to be lived.

I will still move on because I deserve to. And you do, too.

So this is me closing the chapter that was us, stepping into the unknown, and ready to embrace a tomorrow without an us in it.

And I’m finally okay with that.