How To Let Go Of Your Situationship

Take off the rose-colored glasses and see them for who they truly are, not as who you wish they could be. Remember that loving an idea is not the same thing as loving a person. Find it kind of beautiful that you could still feel something so raw for someone who was never really there at all. Who was never really yours either.

But then again, they were there. Because you still feel them. In your mind. In your heart. In the empty space next to you in your Saturday morning bed. Stop finding the pain stunning and begin to deny the feelings because it makes them easier to carry. You know from experience that pain becomes almost light as air if you say it doesn’t exist.

It soothes the ache to say it wasn’t real. It takes the edge off to claim that you also had one foot out the door. They were just a few steps ahead, that’s all. And you don’t chase anyone so you let them leave without even uttering so much as a goodbye to you.

But you tell yourself that’s okay. Because they don’t owe you anything, including closure. You were never official. You never defined what the two of you were, and so technically you were nothing and now it’s clear that’s all you ever will be.

Feel proud that you came out on the other side unscathed. Tell yourself you’re fine. Tell your friends you’re fine as well. Act fine and believe it for a while, too. That is until you go to delete their number and the text thread and that fuck you manifesto you wrote in the notes app when you realize that you’re not fine, not at all.

Almost type out a text to them but realize that sometimes the best thing you can say to someone who doesn’t want you is nothing at all.

Say nothing at all. Let your silence do the talking. Listen to the quiet and hear what it has to say and within that quiet start to realize that you did care, and still do. Start to accept that what you had was real, even if it was never labeled as a relationship. Even if it was only real for you.

Allow yourself the space to honor what you feel. Feel it all, and feel it deeply. Give yourself grace that you saw the potential in someone who would never see it through. Accept that there was so much good to them, but that doesn’t mean they were good for you.

Remind yourself of what you actually want. Remind yourself you deserve those things, too.