Just Some Casual Things That Triggered My Existential Dread

Bruce Springsteen’s album Nebraska. My Capricorn moon. The fact that life is so short but the days still feel so long. Remembering senior year of high school. Contemplating whether alternate universes exist and if I’d be happier in another one. Realizing that’s a stupid thing to ponder. Insomnia at 2 AM. The fact there are so many humans I’ll never get to meet even though we could probably be best friends if we had the chance. How there is so much pain in the world and nothing I can do about all of it. Wishing I could anyway. The fact I am no longer 17 but still feel like that kid with the smokescreen temper at times. Theorizing that perhaps old versions of ourselves never really leave us since they make us who we are. How time passes both seamlessly but not without taking the people I adore with it. How so many of my first dates are also the last ones, too. Joan Didion essays. The lives I’ve lived and lost. Passing by a cute stranger and wondering if he’s happy. Hoping that he is. Accepting I’ll never really know. But still continuing to hope anyway.