Karmic soulmates or partners are usually not partners we’re meant to end up with but ones that often teach us vital life lessons about self-worth. Whatever your spiritual beliefs may be, it’s worth understanding what a “karmic” or toxic partner looks like and the three main dark traits that cause them to leave such a powerful impact on our lives.
They have an irresistible magnetism that keeps you bonded to them, but you also feel traumatized by the relationship.
You feel an instantaneous connection with a “karmic soulmate” or partner. Spiritual philosophies claim that this is because your souls knew each other in past lives and there is unfinished business and energetic ties. Yet regardless of what you believe, it’s clear that this chemistry or “instant spark” can also be a red flag of manipulation. The karmic partner may sweet-talk you into believing in a future with them – they may shower you with large amounts of attention and affection. No matter how hard you try to stay away from a karmic soulmate you find it hard to break ties completely and may break up only to make up many times. Yet on the flip side, no matter how hard you try to maintain the relationship despite all its costs and hardships, the relationship continues to unravel as you fall apart. You feel trapped by the relationship, yet inexplicably addicted and intoxicated to this partner in ways you can’t understand. This is because of the dangerous trauma bond that can occur in toxic relationships, leading to dysfunctional attachment. You may be forced or coerced into making numerous sacrifices that go against your values as you try to “keep” yourself – and the relationship – afloat.
They have a need to create chaos and dysfunction instead of stability.
What could have been a naturally loving relationship is nothing but with a “karmic” or narcissistic and toxic partner. When you’re with a healthy partner, everything flows naturally. You don’t have to tell them “what to do” because they’re already going out of their way to make you feel safe and comfortable. They genuinely care about your happiness. Karmic or narcissistic partners are different: the more you tell them your needs and desires, the more likely they’ll trample on them. You find yourself having the same repetitive arguments with them over and over. They deliberately misinterpret your actions and words to overpower and criticize you. Instead of nourishing you with healthy attention and praise, they’re routinely deceiving you, demeaning you, and ensuring that they one-up you. Rather than respecting your boundaries, you find them trespassing them on a daily basis. Instead of inspiring you toward your goals, they’re weaponizing your worst insecurities against you. They’re compelling you to compete for them and making you feel like you’re not good enough. They do the bare minimum when they could easily reciprocate your efforts if they really wanted to. They find an excuse to create more problems than offer solutions.
They can lack compassion and empathy.
The most toxic of “karmic” partnerships is one with a narcissistic partner who lacks empathy for your emotions. They don’t have the emotional equipment to soothe your sorrows or validate how you feel. They could sabotage your happy moments as well as holidays and special celebrations and kick you when you’re already down. Yet they expect you to do the emotional labor of tending to their needs and feel entitled to your time and energy. They could exploit you and give you false hope so you stay in the relationship, promising to change. It’s important to keep yourself safe and detach from the toxicity as soon as you see the red flags. The chaos in the relationship may inspire you to set healthier boundaries and empower yourself, but the ultimate healing begins when you’re able to break the trauma bond and leave the relationship.