I get it. You want it to work out. You want it to be him. You want him to do better because you know he is capable to do so. You figure it could be the way you’re phrasing things, that perhaps you’re not communicating clearly enough. Perhaps you are being too difficult and your expectations are unrealistic. You’re beginning to believe that you’re the problem. Because he won’t change, no matter how many times you ask and plead and beg. Maybe it really is you.
So, you give him more time. You remain patient and understanding. You pick up the slack. You plan the dates, initiate conversations, listen to his problems, and wait for him to be “ready” for a more serious relationship. You compromise and compromise and compromise until you eventually have no room left to bend.
Here’s the truth: In a way, it is you. But not because you’re the problem but because you’re settling for less than you deserve. You’re putting up with receiving the bare minimum or less because you’re in love with the idea of who he could be, not who he truly is.
If he wanted to give you more, he would. If he wanted to make a serious commitment, he would. If he wanted to give you more than the bare minimum, he would.
So, save the paragraph text because the best response to a bare minimum man is going no contact. No contact takes away his power. No contact takes away his chance to sweet talk you into staying. No contact gives you the chance to find the person who is worthy of you and your time. Revoke his access to you because he doesn’t deserve it.
Please stop wasting your breath on men who only waste your time. Go where you’re appreciated, not taken for granted. Go where you’re celebrated, not tolerated. Your heart will thank you.